Page 77 of Beautiful Dangerous

“Yes, I want that. I wantyou.”

Trying to convince ourselves that we can forget how we feel, that’s over now. It’s done, I don’t think either of us is willing to live a lie anymore. But what we want, and what we can have are two very different things. And if we really want to be together, we’re going to have to be careful. And patient. And so fucking discreet.

I go over to him, reach up and run my fingertips over his strong, stubbled jawline, cocking my head as I watch them lightly touch his skin. “Are we worth the risk? You and me?”

He grabs my wrist, pulling my hand away from his face, his eyes burning into mine. “I would kill for you, Olivia. Don’t ever doubt that, I would kill for you. For us.”

I believe him.

Because, one day, that’s exactly what it might come down to…

Javier

I’ve asked Celine to prepare some of our favorite dishes, and to set up the terrace overlooking the ocean for a special dinner tonight. And I know Olivia hasn’t always been a candles and fairy-lights kind of woman, she doesn’t do all that overly romantic stuff, and neither do I, but maybe a little of that won’t hurt tonight.

Lucca returned a short while ago, told me Olivia is okay, she just needed to let off some steam, and that’s settled my nerves. Yeah. The only person who can make me nervous is my wife, I’m not ashamed to say her reaction to my return has scared me. It’s knocked me off balance slightly because, yes, I was expecting her to run into my arms and weep with joy that her prayers have been answered, but instead she’s become increasingly distant. Angry. Upset. I underestimated how this was going to affect her, how much she’d move on without me there, and I really am regretting what I had to do now. It’s benefited the business, there’s no doubt about that, but it’s damaged my marriage. Possibly beyond repair, and that’s what tonight is all about – trying to find a way to fix us. Bring us closer. Get back to what –whowe were before I had to leave. Because I’m not prepared to lose her. I’m not, losing her.

I wander into the kitchen and smile at Celine as she bustles around, stirring pots and slicing bell peppers, and I stand still for a moment and take in the delicious smells that are filling the air: freshly baked pastries and pies, spicy chicken stew, bread straight out of the oven.

“Oh, I missed this, so much!”

Celine grins back at me, and offers up a plate filled with some of that fresh bread, alongside a small taster dish of the chicken stew. “Try this. See if it’s how you remember it.”

I take the plate from her and lean back against the counter as I dip the bread into the stew and taste it, and it’s exactly as I remember it. Better, even.

“This is wonderful!”

My praise is met with a wider grin, and I try another mouthful. The flavors are intense, the spice Celine uses giving just the right amount of heat without overpowering the dish.

“I missed cooking for you, Javier. Although, Lucca and the rest of the boys, they have big enough appetites to keep me busy. When they remember to eat, that is.”

“What about Olivia?”

Celine frowns. “What about her?”

I set the dish down on the counter and drop my head, smiling slightly. “Did she miss me, Celine?”

“Of course she missed you!”

Celine’s tone is verging on mock-scolding, almost as if she thinks it incredulous that I could even imagine Olivia would feel any other way.

“There wasn’t a day went by when she didn’t talk about you. She’d come into my kitchen and we’d remember you with stories or look through old photographs, but she always had a sadness behind her eyes, a pain that never seemed to lessen.”

That’s good to hear. That she seems to have missed me as much as I’ve missed her. And I believe it to be true, I do, but I also believe that Olivia isn’t one to dwell on something for too long. And I left her alone, for too long. Long enough, possibly, for another man to move in and begin to take my place.

“Do you think I would make a good father, Celine?”

Her head shoots up, and she stops what’s she’s doing, laying the wooden spoon she’d been beating a cake batter with down on a saucer next to the bowl. “Are you and Olivia…?” She flattens her palms against her cheeks, her eyes wide. “That’s what this special dinner is for, no? You and Olivia are going to start a family?”

I laugh, because her enthusiasm is contagious. “Please, keep this to yourself for now, I haven’t even broached this subject with Olivia yet, but yes. This dinner tonight, it’s so we can talk, about starting a family.”

I want an heir to my empire. I want a son or a daughter to carry on the Delgado name, and I need to know whether that’s something Olivia wants, too. Tonight, I will find out.

“Oh, this is so exciting!”

“Ssh, Celine,por favor.” I laugh as she slaps a hand over her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, but I have worked for you – for your family – for so long and I’ve always thought it such a pity that you weren’t a father yourself. You’ll make such a wonderful father, Javier.”

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