Page 56 of Beautiful Dangerous

“Look, Liv, I know all of this – it must be a shock.”

There’s that understatement again.

“I never wanted to keep secrets from you, not one that big…”

“You had no choice.”

His face tells me I’m right on that score.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

I trusted him, with my life. I trusted him full stop. He knew Javier was alive, and yet, what happened between us… he let that happen. And he shouldn’t have done that, he knows the consequences if Javier ever found out. He’d been willing to put his life in danger to get closer to me, why would he do that?

Because he loves you?

Because you love him?

Yes. I do. I still do. I love him…

I look away, because my head really doesn’t need all the shit it’s trying so hard to process right now, and this – him. LuccaPérezis unfinished business, and that’s exactly what he has to stay now; whatwehave to be. Unfinished. Forgotten.

He betrayed Javier.

He lied to me.

I’m not sure who I can trust anymore.

“We need to be at the clubhouse in an hour, Lucca.”

I turn around to see Javier hovering in the open doorway that leads out onto the terrace, his arms crossed, he’s smiling, but I’m still feeling nothing. Not a fucking thing. The numbness is too raw, it just won’t let up. And the fact he’s just walked back in here, and picked up as if the past two years never happened… How can he do that? How can he be so calm? Just slotting back into this life like he’s never been away…

“There’s a lot we need to sort out with Eddie and the bikers. Can you have the car ready?”

Lucca nods, grabs a mug of coffee, and leaves the kitchen.

“Celine,por favor. May I have a moment alone with my wife?”

Celine bows her head and shuffles out into the utility room, leaving Javier and I alone. An unnecessary action on his part, really, there was no need for him to send everyone out like that, this house is more than big enough for us to find some private space elsewhere. He’s just asserting his authority as quickly as he can, so we can all return to this new normal that seems to have materialized overnight.

“Are you okay, Olivia?”

Everyone keeps asking me that, I’m so tired of the question now. Of course I’m not okay, my dead husband is standing in front of me, and I still don’t know why or how or what the fucking hell is going on, and nobody, least of all Javier himself, seems to care.

“Surely you didn’t expect me to wake up this morning and just slot right back into the life we were living before you – before you disappeared? Your return, Javier. Where does that leaveme?”

He steps further into the room, keeping his arms crossed, his eyes fixed on mine. “You are my wife, Olivia.”

“And yesterday I was your widow. The head of the Delgado cartel. So, what happens now, hmm? Do I just get tossed aside, thanks for looking after everything but we don’t need you anymore, is that where we are?”

He smiles and ventures closer still, dropping his arms and sliding his hands into his pockets. “There are reasons why we had to do what we did. I would never have put you under so much pressure if it were not necessary. And you, Olivia, have done a remarkable job in very difficult circumstances.”

It's hard to tell whether he’s praising me or whether he’s being slightly condescending, I think it may be a bit of both. Was he always that way? Was I so blinded by my love for him before that I just never saw that side of him?

“I did what I had to do, for you.”

He’s right in front of me now, I’m breathing him in, and for a moment I’m lost in memories of this man. Happy memories. Beautiful, heart-breaking, happy memories.

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