Page 22 of Beautiful Dangerous

She shakes her head and starts backing away. “No, Lucca, we don’t go there. We don’t do that. We don’t bring emotion into this, it’s too dangerous. Emotion drains us, remember? Leaves us feeling nothing but weak, and we can’t afford for that to happen. Especially now.”

This is why she’s so uneasy all of a sudden.Thisis why she’s acting like she is, it’s because we’re so close to the anniversary of Javier’s death. But she won’t talk to me about how she’s really feeling, she never has. I don’t know if she ever will. Two years on and I know she still misses him, we all do. But I can’t make her talk. In a way, I think she feels that keeping her emotions hidden away fuels the anger she needs to feel in order to deal with the Pino cartel, and she might be right. I don’t know. I’d love to know what’s going on inside her head, but I doubt I ever will. Even someone as close to her as I am doesn’t really get close enough to know the real Olivia Delgado. The woman behind the name.

“We’re going to settle this, once and for all, Olivia, I promise you.”

“I know.”

Her voice is quiet now. The edge has gone.

“And if you want to pull the trigger yourself…”

She shakes her head and looks past me, out at the ocean. “No. I don’t want to do that. I’d much rather they suffer, if I’m being honest, I think shooting them is too quick. Too kind.” She drops her gaze and closes her eyes, and I’m seeing real emotion coming from her here, a moment where she’s not even trying to hide it. Those moments are rare. And then she looks up, her eyes locking on mine, and there are tears in hers, which hits me like a punch to the gut. “I’m so glad you were with him – Javier – when he passed.”

“I was right by his side. He wasn’t alone.”

“You felt his pain, too. You should be the one to take them out. You should have that privilege but, in reality, as long as their very existence is snuffed out I don’t give a shit who kills them. I just want them dead.”

“It’ll happen.”

She smiles a weak smile, and quickly wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, and as soon as that’s done she’s back, the Olivia she’s become – cold. Hard. All emotion pushed aside. Locked away. What’s happened just now, that was nothing more than the briefest of blips, and she doesn’t have those often.

“It doesn’t feel right, Liv. Leaving you like this, I don’t trust…”

“Itrust him, Lucca. And so do you, and you know that we have to extend the circle, if we’re going to take over the Pino cartel’s territory. Their clients. Their business. We can’t do that if we don’t have people.”

I drag a hand through my hair and sigh, because she’s right. She’s fucking right.

“And I’m sorry, if you feel like I’m pushing you aside, I’m not. I’m not doing that.” She comes over to me, gently rests her palm against my cheek and I cover her hand with mine as she smiles up at me. “I won’t ever push you away, okay? I promise you that.”

“I care about you, Olivia.” More than she’ll ever fucking know. “And all of this – the way I react, I’m not doing it to piss you off, I’m doing it because I’m just trying to keep you fucking safe. It’s what Javier wanted me to do.”

She pulls her hand away from me, steps back, and crosses her arms against herself, it’s a defensive stance. She’s putting the barriers back up. “I understand that. But Javier isn’t here anymore. And I think, maybe, it’s time we moved on. Properly. And once I’ve seen the end of the bastards who took my husband’s life, it’s going to be much easier to do that.” She looks right at me, and I can’t tell what she’s feeling now, her eyes are pure ice. “I think we all need to move on, Lucca. Don’t you?”

She turns around and starts to walk away before I can even consider a reply to that. But she doesn’t need to hear an answer, she already knows it.

She’s right.

We all need to move on.

Properly…

Olivia

“Everything okay?” Angel asks as I come back into the kitchen.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

I glance back over my shoulder, but Lucca’s gone now.

“You know, Olivia, I don’t want to put anyone’s nose out of joint…”

“You aren’t. Lucca’s just – he’s very protective of me, that’s all. When Javier was alive, the three of us, we were like this little family, so when he died…” I pour myself a coffee and take a sip, “Lucca felt like he had to take on Javier’s protective role as well as his own. He made promises to Javier, that he would never let any harm come to me, all he’s doing is trying to make sure he doesn’t break those promises.”

“Must be pretty stifling at times, though.”

I look down into my coffee and smile. “It’s not, actually. Not all of the time.” I look up. “He’s a good guy, Angel. A really good guy.”

“Yeah. I know that.”

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