Page 68 of Beautiful Dangerous

“Olivia has been so kind to us,” Celine sighs as she stirs the pots of chili. “What she has had to go through…” She shakes her head, turns around, and smiles the biggest smile. “But Javier, he’s back now. All our prayers have been answered!”

Mine haven’t.

“Yeah. I guess they have.” I push my empty bowl away and pick up my beer. “That was delicious, Celine. But I should get back to the party now.”

“You’re welcome. You need to keep your strength up, sometimes you men, you forget to eat.” She shakes her head again as she clears the table. “That’s not good.”

I smile at her attempt to mock-scold, and she shoos me out of her kitchen with the flick of the towel hanging from her apron. “Go, enjoy the rest of the party.”

I’m not there to enjoy myself, I’m there to protect Javier. To protect his queen, when she’s with him. When she isn’t, that job falls to other men. And once more I feel like a dagger’s been thrust into my heart, and I regret, with every fiber of my being, letting myself give in to the feelings I had for Olivia:have, for Olivia. They haven’t gone away. I’d only just started to allow them to bubble up to the surface, and now I’m not sure I can forget they ever existed. I have memories now, of what she feels like, tastes like. Being that close to her ceased to be a fantasy, and it’s now a dangerous reality.

I’m in love with Olivia Delgado.

And I’m almost certain that she’s in love with me…

Olivia

“Is something wrong?”

Javier tucks his phone back into his jacket pocket. “Hawkins is on his way over here.”

I go over to him and tug gently on his shirt collar to straighten it. “You were never going to be able to come back from the dead and keep off Hawkins’ radar. And right now, I can only imagine that he is not a happy man.”

Javier smirks as he takes my hands in his. “Rumor has it the last time Detective Hawkins was a happy man was the day he found out I’d died.”

I laugh quietly and he kisses me, and still I’m feeling nothing. But I have to pretend that something’s there, I don’t have a choice. “That’s not a rumor, Javier”

He laughs too, his hand sliding around to the base of my spine.

“And, to be honest, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to pay us a visit.”

He pulls me closer against him as we stand in the deserted courtyard, a place which is off-limits to guests tonight.

“It’s so good to be home,” he murmurs into my hair as his hand gently presses against my back. And I know he wants us to be closer than this, we haven’t been together, like this, for two years, and I also know I can’t push him away forever. I have to pretend even harder. I can’t give him a reason to start asking questions, he can’t find out about Lucca and me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, cupping his face in my hands as I look into his eyes. Dark, dangerous eyes, and I feel a sliver of fear cut through me, but I don’t let it show. Again, that’s something I can’t afford to do. “I know it must feel like I’m pushing you away…”

“It’s okay,mi amor.” He smiles the most beautiful smile, and for a moment the old Javier is back, and I’m remembering good times and happy memories and I let that moment last a little while longer. “This can’t be easy for you, I understand that. You need more time, and that’s fine.”

“Is it?”

He kisses me, his fingers sliding between mine, and although the relief is temporary, I’m taking it.

“I’m just glad to be home, Olivia. And of course I want to be close to you, I’ve been away from you for far too long, but all of that can wait. We have all the time in the world now.”

His words should be making me the happiest woman alive, to have a man I once adored to the point of obsession back in my arms when I’d thought he was never coming back. But I’m still numb. Still cold. Still feeling nothing. So I change the subject.

“What are we going to do about Hawkins?”

“I can handle him.” Javier kisses me again, a slow, lingering kiss that almost threatens to kick up some of that love I fear I’ve lost for him, but the second he pulls away from me that tiny surge of hope is extinguished. Because it never really existed, the only man who’s filling my head these days is Lucca. A man I’m not sure I can ever have.

You can’t, have him.

But it doesn’t stop me wanting him.

“I should warn Eddie,” Javier continues, pulling out his phone. “Doubtless the police will be paying them a visit too.” He puts his phone to his ear and smiles at me. “You should get back to the party,mi amor.But I’d like you by my side when Hawkins gets here.”

“I’ll be there.”

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