Page 48 of Beautiful Dangerous

He shakes his head and turns it away from me, his focus back on the ocean. “Now isn’t the time. Not today.”

He’s right. Today really isn’t the time, or maybe it’s the perfect time, because today, everything changes. Today, we take down the Pino Cartel, or we start to, anyway. Today we dispatch of the brothers who murdered Javier, the heads of our rivals, the people who broke my world into a million pieces, they die. Today. Today, we begin to dismantle everything they’ve built up, we take it from them, and we claim it as our own. Today we become more powerful, more dangerous than ever before. Today, I get the retribution I’ve been looking for. Needed. And once it’s done, maybe then Lucca will see what’s right in front of him – a woman who’s finally been set free, ready to love him like he deserves to be loved…

Lucca

I’ve tried to forget what we did, but I can’t. I should, but it’s hard when she’s all I see, every fucking day, it’s my job to stay by her side. It’s not my job to love her. Even though it’s something I’ve been doing for a long time. Too long, but that can never come out, she can never know how long I’ve really loved her. Nobody can.

“I hate what we’ve become, Lucca.”

I look at her, and it feels like a painful kick to the solar plexus. There’s so much she can’t know. So much shit, so many lies, things I still can’t get my head around, but all of a sudden the reality is gut-wrenching. Terrifying. “I hate it, too.” Because I do. I hate the way I’m trying to be nothing but professional when all I want to do is pull her into my arms and keep her safe from all the crap she has no idea is happening; the shit that is yet to come. But I’ve already put myself in danger, so keeping my distance is necessary. My life could depend on it.

“Then why are we doing it? Why are we denying ourselves something that we both want?”

Because I don’t have the luxury of choice. I can’tdowhat I want, it’s not possible. I’ve already crossed a line I should never have even come close to stepping over. I lost control, and that can never happen again. “Sometimes the one thing we want is the very thing we can’t have.”

Her eyes narrow but still burn into mine and I feel like my heart’s being crushed. Every fiber of my being is wishing things were different, but they’re not. And the mess that could be unleashed if the truth came out… The truthwillcome out, when Javier’s ready. When it’s safe for him to come back, and reclaim his queen…

Olivia

“I should go get ready.”

I’m not some love-struck teenager, so I need to stop acting like one. I was this close – too close to begging him to change his mind, and that isn’t something I should be seen doing. Begging. I’m stronger than that.

“You’re staying here.”

I glare at him, is he serious? “Excuse me?”

“You’re staying here, Olivia. Where you’ll be safe. You don’t need to be there.”

This isn’t his call, it’s mine, he doesn’t get to make the decisions. “I need to know that they’ve been dealt with, Lucca.”

“They will be. Trust me.”

“I don’t want a photograph or a video, that isn’t enough. That isn’t the proof I want. What I want is to stand over their bleeding bodies and know for sure that they’re done.”

His eyes stare deep into mine, but there’s a darkness clouding them as he gets ready to pull up those shields that make him the cold, hard killer he needs to be today. “Trust me,” he repeats, but he can stand there and say that a million times over, Idotrust him. But I still need to see those men die; watch as the life drains from their filthy bodies.

“Iwant to do it.”

“No.”

“You asked if I wanted to pull the trigger. You asked if I wanted to do it myself…”

“It’s too dangerous. I should never have given you that option.”

“I want to do it, Lucca. I want to look into their eyes before I put bullets in their brains.”

I need to do that. I need to feel like all of this pain, all this shit, I need to put an end to it. And I think, for me to be able to start that new chapter of my life,Ineed to end the old one. Me. No-one else.

“I can’t let you do it, Liv.”

“It’s not your decision, Lucca.”

“You’re talking about an execution here, and that isn’t the plan, not anymore. Drago will be the one to take them out, the man they’ve come to trust. It needs to be something they don’t see coming…”

“When did the plan change?”

So much fucking shit is getting done without my knowledge, and I’m pissed now.

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