Page 103 of Beautiful Dangerous

Angel’s brow furrows. “Hey, that’s not the Olivia Delgado I know talking here. She would never give up on something, that’s not the woman she is.”

“Sometimes you just have to face up to the fact that some battles can’t be won. And I can’t win against a man like Javier. He faked his own death and came back fighting, ten times stronger, I can’t win against that. Neither can Lucca. A man who betrayed Javier in the worst possible way…” My fingers tighten around Angel’s as a wave of fear mixed with blind panic surges through me. “I might never see him again.” I whisper, and that terrifies me. It fills me with a fear I’m not sure I can get past, I can already feel my throat closing in on me, my breath struggling to get out.

“Hey, come on, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

It isn’t, but I appreciate his attempts to calm me down, and then hate myself for losing the control I so badly need to keep.

“You alright now?” Angel asks, squeezing my hand and I squeeze back, smile at him, and let his hand go, standing up and walking over to the glass barriers that line the poolside terrace.

“You should go.”

“I don’t like leaving you on your own.”

“I’m not on my own. Celine’s here, the place is manned with staff and surrounded by guards, I’m not in any danger in my own home.”

Except, I don’t know that for sure, do I? Not anymore. And if Javier really does know the truth, then I’m in danger. Lucca’s in danger. If he has any inkling that the Devil’s Creed even hinted at trying to help Lucca and I get out of here then they’re in danger too, so I could be making this worse by having Angel here.

“This doesn’t have to be the end, Olivia.”

I turn around and look at him, shooting him a weak smile loaded with a growing resignation. “Yes. I think it has to be, Angel.”

He drops his head and slides his hands into his pockets, dropping his gaze briefly before looking back at me. “Don’t be this person, Liv. Don’t be this defeated, fight for what you want.”

And I’d been ready to do that, less than an hour ago fighting was my goal, the one thing that was going to make this god forsaken life worth living again, but the reality is, as I’ve just told Angel, it’s a fight I don’t think I can win. I used to be powerful but in the space of a few minutes Javier stripped me of that power and made me weak, which is the way he needs me to be now. Weak. Submissive. Anything else isn’t an option.

“You should go,” I repeat.

“Jesus, Olivia…”

I try another smile but I’m almost positive it never got anywhere near my eyes. “Mexico isn’t so bad. The house over there, it’s even more beautiful than this one. The weather’s good. The people are friendly…” I stop talking because all I’m doing is spouting out a barrage of shit excuses, parrot fashion, to try and convince myself that I can do what Javier wants me to do, and be completely fine with it. But I know that what we had before, that’s gone. And what’s ahead of me is a very different world. And not one I want to live in anymore…

Javier

“Celine would like to come with us. How do you feel about that?”

She looks up from the book she’s reading and lays it down on the table in front of her. I lean against the doorframe and cross my arms, and I smile at her, and even though she smiles back I can see that was difficult for her, trying to smile at me when it’s quite obvious it’s the last thing she wants to do.

“It would be nice to have someone familiar over there. I don’t know the staff in Mexico as well as I know everyone here, I haven’t been across the border in a while.”

“Then I’ll tell her to go about finding her replacement. Lucca will need someone to look after him, once we’re gone. I’ll leave it to you to make sure whoever takes up the position is suitable.”

“Katy is more than capable of stepping up. She’s been assisting Celine for years now, she deserves the position.”

“Good. Then make sure all of that is sorted out and finalized within the next few days. One less thing for us to worry about. I’d hate for Lucca to have no-one here to look after him.”

When I mention his name I make sure to look at her, to see her reaction, and it’s just as I expected. She shifts her gaze, drops her head, and even from back here in the doorway I can feel the crushing sadness overtake her. And it’s heartbreaking, that she doesn’t feel that way about me anymore when I still love her, so much.

“Lucca can look after himself,” she says quietly, and that’s true. He can. But this house still needs somebody to run it, he won’t always be here.

“He’s going to be a very busy man, Olivia, he’ll need someone to make sure he eats. Someone to take charge of the house. He can’t do everything.”

I move further into the room and sit down on the arm of a chair, keeping my distance from her because I’m guessing that’s what she’d prefer. For now. I’m playing this a certain way, because I mean no harm to her, she’s my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, she’s my world, and I hope one day to become hers again, the way I used to be. It's just going to take time, but once we’re in Mexico we’ll have plenty of that, and no distractions.

“I don’t blame you, Olivia. For what Lucca did.”

I watch her again, watch as she swallows hard, bites her lip, closes her eyes for a beat or two, I can almost see the panic on her beautiful face.

“After all, you thought I was dead. I needed you tobelieveI was dead. But he knew. He knew I was still very much alive, he has no excuse.”

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