Page 17 of The Healer

He forced his eyes open and stared at the aspen in front of him. Particularly how he’d sunk his claws into the trunk of the tree. When had he moved? Panic clawed up his throat. He didn’t want to start losing time again like in the past.

A soft hand rested on his forearm, and he stared down into Nyx’s worried face. Her gaze scanned his expression, missing nothing.

“Let’s go get some tea,” she said softly.

Briggs pulled his claws from the bark, and she slipped her hand inside his. There were no questions. Nyx knew him inside and out. She understood he wasn’t okay. He let her lead him from the center of the lush gardens, past a small babbling brook full of colorful fish, over the wide cobblestone walkway and into the large, airy infirmary.

Nyx led him to one of the cots and had him sit. He watched her bustle around the sunny room, the familiar scent of herbs swirling through the air, and tried not to drown in his shame. Briggs glanced toward the gardens, the melodious tinkle of children’s laughter reaching his ears.

“Did the wee ones see me?” he asked, a lump in his throat.

“No, they did not.” Nyx glided back to his side and handed him a warm cup of tea. He took it and she sat down next to him, taking his left hand in her own once again. “Our lesson was finished up and the cook had pastries waiting for them. They never even looked in your direction.”

“How long was I… out of it?”

“About ten minutes.”

Briggs hung his head, his dark braids sliding over his shoulder to create a veil of sorts between himself and Nyx. What if she hadn’t been there? What if he’d lost control?

She squeezed his hand. “Stop it. I know you’re beating yourself up. But you didn’t hurt anyone. You never have.”

“Except for you.” He looked at her and she shrugged.

“We both didn’t know any better. Now we do. I’m not upset about it. You should let it go.”

Nyx was too good to him. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness or even her comfort. His attention was drawn to the way their fingers were laced together, his dark like midnight, hers warm like honey. Briggs knew he should pull away, but he couldn’t find it within himself to break the contact. She was his anchor. And he loved her, but this was all he could ever take or give to her which made him a selfish man. She was stuck with him, never moving forward because she had hope for a future he knew would never come.

You’re pathetic. Mistress was right. You destroy everything good around you.

“Briggs?” she murmured, and he blinked at her. “Did you hear what I said?”

“No.”

She pursed her lips in that way that made him crazy with want. All he desired was to bite and kiss her bottom lip until it stopped pouting.

“I said that I have a present for you.”

He arched a thick brow. “Really?”

Nyx gave him a nervous smile and stood, releasing his hand. He flexed his fingers, already feeling the loss of her touch as she strode over to a small wooden trunk and opened it. She pulled out something and clutched it to her chest and she swung around to face him. Nyx walked until she stood before him and rocked back on her heels, not meeting his gaze.

What was this? His little kitsune was never nervous around him. “It can’t be that bad.”

She winced and shoved her hand out, uncurling her fingers. In her palm rested a vial of glowing blue liquid.

Briggs jerked back, a memory of his Mistress holding a vial similar in color and having her guards hold him down so she could pour it down his throat. He bared his teeth and growled, swiping at her.

“It’s me. It’s just me!”

Nyx’s voice pulled him from the memory, and he glared at her. Before she could move, he jumped down from the cot and yanked her to his chest, plucking the vial from her hand.

“How could you?” he growled, holding the drugs up to her wide eyes, his hand shaking.

“I didn’t.”

He laughed, pushing her away. She stumbled but caught herself. “I’m not stupid. There’s only one kind of plant that can turn a draught this color. Mimikia.” Briggs threw the vial onto the stone floor. It shattered, the liquid spattering over his boots and the bottom of Nyx’s skirts.

He panted, his whole body shaking with rage as he tried to control his temper. She’d betrayed him. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

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