Page 33 of A Christmas Mystery

“Shit,” Daniela breathes. “So you and Theo are really into each other?”

“No!” The words come out loud and raspy. “No! We... we can’t be.”

“Why not?”

“Because...” I’m almost gasping now, so I take a minute to catch my breath. “Because we can’t be. Because of Chris. It would be... weird and cringey and wrong.”

“Not wrong,” Tee murmurs very softly.

“I’m sure it could feel kind of awkward,” Daniela says in a less gentle, more matter-of-fact voice. “I think it would to me. But it’s been two years. Enough time has passed. These things happen.”

“They do? Other women get feelings for their dead fiancé’s best friend?”

Tee shrugs. “Of course they happen. You think you’re the first woman something similar has happened to?”

“N-no. Of course not. But that doesn’t make it... make it right.” I rub my face, trying to clear my mind of too much emotion. “So, yeah, maybe I’ve picked up a few stray feelings toward Theo, but they can’t go anywhere. They can’t lead to anything. They can’t.”

“Okay,” Daniela says with a shrug. “So they don’t go anywhere. No big deal.”

I peer at her. Then at Tee. “No arguments?”

“Why would there be arguments? You know best how you feel. And one thing has always been true about human beings. Feelings are real but they aren’t always right. We are capable of doing what’s right, no matter what our feelings are telling us. If you truly believe starting something with Theo is wrong, then you shouldn’t do it.”

“That’s right,” Daniela adds. “Why don’t you text him and thank him for his help but that you can handle it on your own from here on out?”

I stare at her, my lips parting slightly.

“What?” she adds. “He’s a sharp guy. He’s going to understand what that message means. He won’t make another move on you after that.”

“He never made a move on me.” My voice cracks slightly on the last word.

Holding me in his sleep doesn’t count.

“Well, he’ll know to never try anything. He’ll back off.”

Tee reaches over to pat my forearm, which is resting on the table. “Daniela is right. That young man is too shy to push his way in if you don’t open the door for him.”

“He’s not—” I cut off my own claim since I’m no longer certain it’s true.

Maybe he is shy. Maybe everything I always believed about Theo is completely wrong. What the hell do I know about anything anymore?

He was so sweet last night. And even this morning after we woke up—until I made it very clear that nothing was happening between us.

It was only then that he pulled back.

“Not everyone acts in the exact same way with certain traits. A lot of people who are generous channel it in ways that look different. So why would you assume people who are shy always look or act in the same ways?” Tee smiles to soften her targeted question. “Maybe you can just trust me in this.”

I nod and look down at the plate on the table in front of me—nothing left on the surface but crumbs from my piece of cinnamon bread. “Okay. Maybe you’re right.”

“So go ahead and text him,” Daniela says again, gesturing toward my phone set beside my plate. “Get it over with, and you’ll feel better.”

Maybe I would, but that’s not how it feels right now. It feels like texting him those words—slamming the door on anything that might grow between us—would hurt as much as chopping off my hand.

“It wouldn’t be wrong?” I ask in almost a whisper.

“Why exactly do you think getting with Theo would be wrong?” Daniela asks.

“I don’t know. Just that Chris was the love of my life. My soulmate. You’re not supposed to fall for your soulmate’s best friend, are you?”

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