Page 61 of An Engagement Pact

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THE NEXT DAY IS A FRIDAY.

Dan decides to call in with a personal day so he can hang out with me.

I would call in too, but it’s really hard for my boss to find a last-minute substitute for my responsibilities. He usually does them himself and has to reduce the tasks those days to the basics of feeding and letting the pets out. I can’t stand to leave all my sweet dogs without their normal walks if I have any other choice, so I only call in if I’m genuinely sick.

So I go through with my normal schedule, and Dan comes along with me.

It’s a really good day.

I have no doubt this giddy haze that’s illuminating everything with gold will eventually wear off, but I might as well enjoy it while I can.

My late afternoon walk consists of three dogs at a time. We’ve just dropped the final one off, so I’m done for the day. Dan takes my hand as we walk the mile back to Lock-N-Leash where we left my car after lunch.

Dan has been quiet for longer than normal, so I glance up to check his face. He smiles down at me. “So...”

My heart gives a little jump, and I don’t even know why. “So, what?”

“So is it okay if we... if we get some things into concrete terms?”

I blink. “Of course.”

“I don’t want to be too pushy or presumptuous, but as you know, I’m a secret type A. I like things settled clearly in my mind.”

I can’t help but laugh. “I like that too. So settle away.”

“We love each other. And we’re together for real.”

I can’t really tell from the pitch of his voice whether those are statements or questions. “Yes. Of course.”

“We’re married. But the marriage was definitely far more rushed than the relationship. So do we want to...?”

Enlightenment dawns as I realize what he’s trying to figure out. “Well, I don’t really know. I agree it’s rushed if we’re assuming a normal timeline. And I agree that, although we’re both all in already, normally I wouldn’t think getting married right now is the best of all ideas.”

He nods and squeezes my hand. “So what should we do? I want us to be... to make good decisions, but I also really don’t want to get divorced from you.”

“I don’t either. I think we should stay married. But for the purposes of our relationship, we can kind of leave it in the background. So if we feel it’s better for us to make decisions that a normal married couple wouldn’t make as we progress, that’s okay.”

Dan blows out a breath. “Okay. That sounds perfect. I’m all for being mature and reasonable, but I wouldn’t be at all okay with you not being my wife, now that you are.”

With a little laugh, I pull him down into a quick kiss. “Same here.”

“So let’s say this. We go through with our relationship in whatever way feels right for us at any given moment. Then, on our first anniversary, we can decide for sure whether we want this marriage to be forever.”

Next year seems very far away, but time has a way of going quickly. I mostly feel like I’m ready to make a forever declaration right now, but I’ve been very nervous and hesitant for a very long time. Hearts come together in a way that feels miraculous, but they don’t change into something entirely new overnight. They need room to grow.

“That sounds perfect,” I tell him.

“By then you’ll be making plans for grad school,” he says, “and we’ll have to be making some big life changes. So at that point it will make sense to make things final. But until then we can give ourselves as much time as we need.” He pauses again. Clears his throat. “Assuming we’re exclusive. I’m fine with taking our time, but I’m not fine with you running off and seeing other guys.”

I can’t seem to stop giggling. “I have no desire to see any other guys. Ever again. I promise.”

“Good. Because you’re it for me too, and I don’t see that ever changing.”

Nothing he could have said would make me feel better than that.

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