Page 21 of An Engagement Pact

“Uh-huh. Your hair is flying around too, but it’s so short you don’t notice it.”

“True.”

He watches as, with new determination, I tackle my hair one more time and finally manage to pull it into a ponytail.

I can’t testify to the neatness of the hairdo, but at least it’s restrained and out of my face.

“There,” I say. “How is it?”

His eyes focus on my hair and then shift back to my face. His expression is still that warm, relaxed, amused one that I can’t help but like. “Well, it’s pulled back.”

With a gasp, I feel my hair to check how bumpy it is against my scalp. It doesn’t feel too bad. “Are you teasing me?”

He chuckles again. “As if I would do that.”

“I think you would do that a lot.”

“Well, it’s hard to resist the temptation. You always take me seriously.”

That surprises me enough to shift my focus. “Why wouldn’t I take you seriously?”

He shrugs and glances away, back toward the sails which appear to be positioned and functioning perfectly. “I don’t know. Most people don’t.”

I think about that for a full minute before I answer. “Well, that might be partly your own fault.”

“Why is that?” He moves his eyes back to my face with a strange tension on his face. It’s like he’s trying to hold on to his normal teasing nonchalance but is actually invested in what I’m saying.

“I don’t know. I’m just wondering if you act like nothing ever bothers you or riles you up or makes you sad so that people believe it’s actually true about you.”

He glances away, reflecting for a few seconds before he meets my gaze again. “And you don’t believe that?”

I shrug. “Well, no. I don’t think anyone is really like that, but I definitely don’t think you are.”

“Why not?”

He’s genuinely asking, so I answer him honestly. “You get up early and start working long before your office hours begin. You had a very organized plan in mind for our fake relationship even before we began talking about it. You didn’t wait around for things to happen or for you to organically find someone you want to marry. You purposefully and committedly made it happen even though you’re not desperate for money. You aren’t really a laid-back, go-with-the-flow guy. You’ve just put on that pose for the world. But you can’t be surprised that people actually buy into it and so don’t take you seriously.”

My words clearly take him aback. He blinks a couple of times and turns his head to stare out at the water. His shoulders are visibly stiff.

“That wasn’t an insult,” I say after a minute, my stomach clenching in concern. “I’m not criticizing you. I was just trying to explain.”

“I know. I’m not insulted.” He gives me a flicker of a smile. “I’m just thinking about it. Wondering if you’re right.”

“Oh. Okay.” After a minute, I add, “I think I am right.”

“Of course you are.”

I hesitate briefly before I decide to go for it. “Why would you always act so laid-back and unconcerned about everything if you aren’t actually like that?”

“I don’t know.” His forehead wrinkles as he thinks. “I never had many friends when I was a little kid. Like in elementary school. I cared too much about school and was overly earnest and had a tendency to boss the other kids around, and naturally no one liked that. They made fun of me. So when we moved to Green Valley in middle school, I decided to change.”

I’m fascinated by the confession and am listening wide-eyed. “Seriously? You just decided?”

“Yeah. I think so. I was smart enough to realize what the problem was by then. And I was moving to a place where no one knew me in any way, so I could be anyone I wanted to be. So I was going to be one of the cool kids instead of the nerdy kids. So...” He shakes his head. “So that’s what I did. Then it became a habit. Then it became who I am.”

“But it didn’t. Not really. You’re still the same nerdy, hardworking, earnest boy you used to be. You’ve just hidden him beneath the mask of the laid-back guy who doesn’t care about anything. But the mask works. It keeps people out. So everyone likes you but no one really knows you. Of course they don’t take you seriously. You’re not being serious with them.”

“Ouch.”

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