It was fine. It has to be fine. Even he admitted he had trouble getting to know me and figuring out what I was thinking. He won’t know what I had in mind.
It was a private embarrassment.
And a good reminder not to let his charm and generosity confuse me about the reality of the situation.
We’re not in love. We’re not dating for real—no matter how much it feels like we are.
This is only for money. For both of us.
Professional. Like a job.
So I’m not going to fall for him, and he’ll never, ever fall for me.
Three
ON MONDAY MORNING,I walk Oscar first thing as usual and try not to let my thoughts drift toward Dan.
It’s harder than it should be.
As ridiculous as it sounds, it feels like I had a really good first date over the weekend, and I’m left with all the resulting jitters and flutters.
Nonsense.
That’s what it is.
I know perfectly well there’s no reason to be feeling like that, and if I don’t get it together soon, then I’ll have to start changing plans.
I’m doing this for the money and nothing else. I can’t let any silly romantic impulses carry me along paths that will do nothing but hurt and disappoint me.
So I give myself a firm mental lecture, walking Oscar faster than normal as I do so. We’re both out of breath as I drop him back off at home, but I feel more like my normal, practical, no-nonsense self.
I don’t fall into silly crushes. That’s not what I do.
It’s not going to happen right now.
I’m walking through the blocks of downtown on my way back home to shower and have breakfast before doing the rest of my day’s duties when a tap on the large window of the coffee shop startles me.