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His expression softened into a smile. “Okay. Thanks.”

She was starting to feel weirdly soft. Kind of squishy inside. In addition to the emotional issues, she was also really wet between her legs from their combined fluids. So she figured itwas a good time to get herself up and dressed so he wouldn’t have to wait forever for her. She picked her dress up off the bed, found a bra-and-panty set in the drawer with her stuff, and headed into the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready for the day.

That morning they went up the Eiffel Tower, and then they spent the rest of the day visiting a series of literary spots Jude had picked out.

Eve wasn’t as much into literary history as he was, but she still had a great time. She’d been to Paris once in high school and then again with some friends during college, so she’d seen all the big museums and monuments. She enjoyed strolling around on streets less populated with tourists, and she was fascinated with all the history and anecdotes Jude told her about the places they visited and the authors who spent time there.

Jude remembered all kinds of details, and he seemed to enjoy telling her all about them. For a man as cool and guarded as him, he was, in fact, a bit of a nerd, but that just made her like him even more.

She was an academic after all. Nerds were her people.

Whenever they were moving through any sort of a crowd, he always reached over and took her hand, making sure she stayed right beside him. Every time he did gave her a little thrill even though it was obviously practical rather than romantic.

The day passed quickly—so quickly she was disappointed when the sun started going down. After dinner, they found a bench near one of the picturesque bridges over the Seine so they could watch the sunset.

They sat in silence for a long time, both of them wrapped up in their own thoughts. She’d never been with anyone—ever—who was as content in silence as Jude was. Everyone else would eventually start to feel restless and want to fill the empty space with words, but he never got to that point.

It was actually Eve who finally wanted to speak. “I’ve had a really good day.”

“Me too,” he said, turning his head toward her. He wasn’t quite smiling, but he was close. “Thanks for doing all the stuff I wanted. Tomorrow you choose.”

“You mentioned you wanted to visit the Louvre. We should do that.”

“You’ve already been, haven’t you?”

“Sure, but I could spend days there and never get bored. So let’s do that at least for a while, and then we’ll see what we feel like for the rest of the day.”

He nodded and relaxed back against the bench. After a minute, he asked without segue, “Did any of your old boyfriends take you on trips?”

She blinked, surprised but not uncomfortable by the question. “Not to Paris. I was in college when I dated my first boyfriend, so we never went anywhere together. Not even to meet each other’s families. The second one was during the summer after I finished undergrad. It lasted until Christmas that year. We did a weekend trip to the beach but nothing else. I dated my last boyfriend for almost a year. We went to the Bahamas for a week. But that was it. So I’ve never really traveled much with any of my boyfriends.” She paused. Thought about it. Finally decided to ask, “What about you? Did you ever travel much with a girlfriend?”

He was staring out at the bridge, and a smile tilted up the corners of his mouth. “No. Never.”

“So you’ve always traveled alone since you’ve been grown up?”

He shifted his eyes over to her face. “I guess you could say that. I never traveled much at all other than visiting the places as I researched my books.”

“Why haven’t you traveled since there are obviously places you’ve wanted to go?”

“I… I don’t know.” He shrugged with a rueful expression on his face. “I always figured I’d have time later on. And obviously I’m fine being on my own, but something about travel made me want to wait for someone to go with me.”

She pulled her brows together. “But you said you haven’t dated in two years. You’ve barely been coming out in public. How were you planning to find someone to travel with?”

He chuckled softly, not meeting her eyes anymore. “I had no plan. I pulled back because it was easier for me. It always took an effort for me to socialize, and the more I avoided it, the easier it was to simply not try. I was spending most of my emotional energy on the books I was writing, and it felt like I didn’t have much left for interacting with people.” He paused, idly working his jaw. “I’ve been… content. I could have gone my whole life like that and not felt like I was miserable or lonely. But at the back of my mind, it always felt like I was waiting for something. Needing something more.”

“I think I can understand that.” She spoke gently. Despite his soft, uninflected tone, she knew he was sharing something of himself with her—something deep he usually kept hidden—so she wanted to make sure she treated it appropriately. “It just seems like dating could have… helped with what you were waiting for.”

“Of course it would have helped. But my dating experiences were all…” He shook his head, still focused on the water of the river glinting back at them in the streetlights. “Unsatisfying.Empty. It wasn’t the women I was dating. They were all smart and attractive and interesting. Rather, it felt like I was pretending to be the kind of man who would date them.”

She was thinking about what he’d said, trying to wrap her mind around it, when he slanted his eyes back to her with a huff of dry amusement.

“That probably sounds ridiculous,” he added.

“No, it doesn’t. I think I can understand. I haven’t always felt like I could really be myself with the guys I’ve dated. It didn’t feel exactly like I was playing a role, but I was so busy trying to be the person they wanted me to be that sometimes I didn’t have the space to be… to beme.” She gulped as she heard how vulnerable she’d just made herself. “That’s probably why none of the relationships worked.”

“Maybe. Or maybe they were just the wrong guys. Maybe they weren’t patient enough to give you space to open up or weren’t mature enough to know how. Maybe they were always focused more on themselves than on you.”

The words made her want to squirm. They made her feel good but in a nakedly exposed way. As if the walls around her deepest self were laid bare.

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