Page 99 of Counted

It was then that he ran into a brick wall.

He knew what that paragraph was supposed to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to write it.

So he sat for minute after minute. Delaying for no good reason.

A long time had passed when there was a sound at the library door. He spun his chair around to see Eve coming in.

She wore a pretty brown sleeveless dress with a small daisy pattern along the hem. Her hair was loose and shiny in the sun streaming in through the windows. “How’s it going?”

“Okay. Good. I’m almost done.”

“Oh great.” She peered at his face closely. “What’s the matter then?”

He shrugged, embarrassed to admit it.

“Jude?”

He turned back to face his desk. Stared at the words on the screen. “I’m on the last paragraph.”

“The very last one?” She sounded excited.

“Yes.”

“So what’s the matter?”

“I don’t know.” He made a weird guttural sound as his throat started closing up. “I… I don’t want to write it.”

She came forward until she was standing right behind him, reading over his shoulder. “You don’t want it to be done?”

He nodded, flushing hotly for no reason he could understand.

But she was right. That was exactly what he was feeling.

It was the end. Of this scene. Of this book. Of his career.

Of his life.

What he was about to write would be his very last words to the world, the last bit of himself he would ever share in writing.

It was over.

He was almost over.

And this—right here, this final paragraph—was the proof.

His last words.

“Oh my God, Jude,” she murmured thickly. “I’m so sorry.”

She understood. She knew exactly what he was feeling. And it made it worse.

He tried to rein in the emotion, but he couldn’t. His body began to shake. His eyes squeezed shut, and his face twisted. His attempt to stifle the sob made it harsh and gaspy.

Eve was crying now too. She reached down and wrapped her arms around him from behind, tucking her face against the crook of his neck as she held him.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until Jude was finally able to grow still. Take a deep breath.

“I’m going to do it now,” he rasped.

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