Page 84 of Counted

She didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t have to.

He already knew.

But he had no idea what he could do about it.

Jude woke up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache. His mouth was dry, his stomach was queasy, and his head was trying to kill him.

That was when he decided.

Eve would take care of him without question, just like she always had before. Then, when he got even worse as the end neared, she would keep taking care of him no matter how hard it was, how much it broke her.

Then he would finally die, and she would be crushed. Shattered. A twenty-four-year-old widow grieving a husband of only three months.

He couldn’t let it happen.

Hewouldn’t.

He needed her more than anything, but she needed something different, and he loved her more than he’d ever loved himself.

So he climbed out of bed as quietly as he could so he wouldn’t wake her up. He found his nausea pills in the case and took one so he wouldn’t start to throw up. He was dizzy and disoriented as he grabbed his case of medication and some of his toiletries from the bathroom, putting them in a small leather case.

He should take some clothes, but that would wake up Eve for sure. He couldn’t do that.

Silently he moved out of the bedroom, and he sped up as he reached the hallway and hurried downstairs.

He slid his laptop in his case with his wallet and a few books.

Then he stared at his left hand for a long time. The simple band that had always belonged on his finger.

He loved the sight of it. He loved being her husband.

But he never should have done that to her, and he wasn’t going to make it worse.

Every day he spent with her would make it worse for her. Would make it harder. So he had to stop it right now.

He slid the ring off his finger and left it on his desk before he picked up his case.

He turned off the alarm on the door to the garage so he wouldn’t wake the whole house. Then he got in his car and drove away.

His head was hurting worse than ever, but at least he hadn’t started to vomit.

He had no idea where he was going.

He only knew he had to get away.

Eve would be upset. Devastated by his disappearance.

But better to break her a little bit now than to break her completely when he died.

13

Eve wokeup to find Jude’s side of the bed empty.

It wasn’t all that unusual. When he was well, he often got up early to run. A quick check of the clock proved it was almost eight, so there was a reasonable chance he’d finished his run and returned to shower and dress. He might already be downstairs having breakfast or sitting at the desk in the library, finally getting that last scene of his book finished.

She missed the sight of him beside her. When they stayed in hotels, he was nearly always somewhere close when she opened her eyes in the morning. But she was the one who’d somehow managed to sleep through him getting up.

She didn’t normally sleep so deeply.