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The only other time she’d felt like this was that day in Italy when he’d been violently ill. She felt just as terrified and helpless now. At least she had more medication for him today.

“That should start helping soon,” she said, stroking his hair back from his pale face. “Then you can take your other pill to help your head.”

He groaned softly, bringing his arms up toward his face.

She wasn’t good in a crisis like some people were. Her instinct was always to hide in a corner and cover her eyes. But Jude needed her right now. She forced herself to stand up.

She dampened a washcloth with warm water and lowered herself back down to the bathroom floor.

It was cold and hard. And poor Jude was lying on it with too much bare skin. Positioning her back to the wall, she stretched out her legs and then carefully pulled Jude toward her. He must have realized what she was trying to do because he helped scoot his body. When his head was in her lap, she gently wiped his face and beard with the wet washcloth.

His shivering was so intense it shook her body too.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. His eyes were squeezed shut even though neither one of them had turned on a light.

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. None of this is your fault.” Her chest ached so painfully that she wasn’t sure she could take a full breath. Her hands still trembled, although she fought to keep them still so they wouldn’t bother Jude.

“I’d been doing better.” He smacked his mouth a few times. Maybe it was dry or maybe he had a bad taste from the vomit and the pill. “I thought… I hoped…”

Hehadbeen doing better. It had been more than a week since he’d had a bad headache. She’d been getting better at recognizing the beginnings of them and then making sure he took his pill early. He hadn’t been this sick since that one day on their honeymoon.

She’d been hoping maybe he wouldn’t have to suffer like this, but that was a foolish fantasy. The daydream of a child who couldn’t accept reality.

Dying would always mean suffering because the body never wanted to surrender. It would turn itself inside out to fight off possible threats.

Jude was dying. His body was trying to fight it, shouting at him endlessly that something terrible was wrong.

But his body wasn’t strong enough to kill the thing that was killing him, and Eve wasn’t capable of doing it for him.

So they were equally helpless, huddled together on the floor of the bathroom. And all Eve could do was caress him with the washcloth and cry.

She managed to keep her sobbing quiet so he wouldn’t know. She occasionally gasped or shook, but it wasn’t enough to disturb Jude. After several minutes, his shivering finally started to lessen. He lay limply on the floor, occasionally twitching or jerking.

Discreetly wiping tears from her face with one hand, she smoothed his damp hair back again with the other.

It would have been nice if he’d fallen asleep, but he hadn’t. His eyes were closed, but she knew he was still awake.

“Do you think you can make it back to bed?” she asked softly.

“Not… not yet.”

“All right.” She put down the washcloth since it was cool now and she didn’t want to make him colder. “We’ll wait a little while longer and then try your other pill.”

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and shifted slightly. Grabbed her knee with one hand. “Wanted to… have a good… trip.”

She swallowed over a little sob. “We will. You’ll feel better after you can take your pill. You can sleep, and then we can go out and have a good time. If we need to, we’ll extend the trip an extra day. It’s going to be fine.”

He mumbled something wordlessly and squeezed her knee.

She tried running her fingertips delicately over his hair. When he didn’t flinch or pull away, she started rubbing his head.

She wasn’t sure it helped, but it didn’t appear to make it worse. And at least it was something she could do for him.

After about twenty more minutes, her legs were losing circulation and her back was cramping up. She eased Jude’s head off her lap and pushed herself to her feet, stretching for only a few seconds before she went to get the pill for his headache and a half-drunk bottle of water from beside the bed.

Kneeling down beside him, she asked, “Do you think you can swallow this now?”

“I’ll… try.” It appeared to take great effort for him to raise his head enough to take the pill, sip the water, and then swallow it down. She cringed when he made a pained face as he gulped.

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