Page 58 of Counted

She giggled and rubbed her cheek against his shirt. “I was trying to help.”

He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “You did.”

They had dinner in the library and hung out there, reading, for the rest of the evening.

At ten, Eve was getting tired, and it looked like Jude could barely keep his eyes open, so she suggested they go to bed early. He had no objections.

He was rather out of it, and she thought he’d feel better if he took a shower before bed. But she’d learned that if she openly coddled him, he usually resisted. If she posed a suggestion as being for her benefit rather than his, he’d always comply without question.

So she gave a dramatic sniff in his direction and said, “You might want a shower before bed.”

He blinked in surprise and lifted his arm to smell himself. “Do I stink?”

“Not too bad.” She smiled up at him. “But I might do something special for you if you take a shower first.”

He strode immediately into the bathroom without further discussion, making her giggle when he started hurriedly pulling off his clothes as he walked.

She’d showered this afternoon, so she didn’t bother with another one. She changed into a pale blue nightgown, washed her face, and brushed her hair before she went back through the connecting door between their rooms and climbed into his bed.

Jude wasn’t long in the shower. He came out wearing a pair of gray pajama pants and loose hair. His eyelids were heavy over his gray eyes, and his chest hair was slightly ruffled from the towel he’d used to dry himself.

He really was an incredibly sexy man—conveying intellect as well as physicality, depth as well as aesthetic appeal. His body was lean and hard, but his heart was soft and sensitive. He’d always tried so hard to be completely self-sufficient, but no one could be that as they died.

He needed her. And all her attempts to distance herself emotionally kept failing because his need for her was genuine. Inescapable.

The best she could do was focus on taking care of him. Give him what he needed in the final weeks of his life. And do her best not to look for anything else in him.

So she’d helped him with his headaches. She’d made sure he got rest. She’d encouraged him to go back to Mass so he had a chance to reconnect with his faith. She’d made sure he talked to his father. She’d even gotten him to go back into public and interact with other people. All of that was good for him—waswhat he needed. And it felt like her responsibility to help him with it.

But she also made sure it was one-sided, avoiding opening up to him about her own feelings, her own needs.

He could always rely on her, but she couldn’t learn to rely on him because he wouldn’t be with her for long.

It wasn’t easy. It felt heavy. Like a burdensome weight on her shoulders. But her father had been right when he’d asked her to protect her own heart. So that was what she was doing to the best of her ability.

She could take care of Jude, but she couldn’t let him take care of her.

“You okay?” he asked, frowning slightly as he peered down at her.

“Yeah.” She smiled and pulled back the covers on his side. “I was waiting for you.”

“Oh yeah? Did you have something particular in mind?” His voice was already slightly throaty. Thick and sexy.

“Maybe.” When he tried to kiss her, she pushed him over onto his back and moved over him. Last night her emotions had gotten confused when they’d done all that kissing as they had sex. It had felt deep and intimate and romantic, and that was dangerous for her. So she kissed his mouth only briefly and then began kissing her way down his body, focusing on the spots he liked the best.

He got turned on almost immediately, and when she reached his groin, she gently drew down his pajama pants over his erection. She stroked and fondled him until he was tense and twitching. Then she lowered her face and took him in her mouth, sucking as she squeezed around the base of his penis.

It never took long for him to come when she went down on him. He gripped a handful of her hair and clutched at the sheetwith the other hand as he rocked his hips with her rhythm and let out an uninhibited exclamation as he came hard.

She pulled her mouth up at the last moment, so he ejaculated on her neck and chin. She giggled as she grabbed a couple of tissues to wipe it off.

He’d collapsed limply, smiling up at her groggily as he caught his breath.

“Give me a minute,” he finally managed to gasp as she kissed his belly, then his chest, then his mouth, “and I’ll take care of you too.”

“I’m good tonight,” she told him even though arousal was pulsing intensely between her legs. “I only wanted to do that.”

He frowned slightly, studying her face. “You sure?”

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