Page 3 of Counted

“I’m not bothering with treatment. My mother did that, and she made it only a few weeks longer than three months but was sick the entire time. Miserable. I won’t do that.”

“But—”

“I won’t.” As always, his voice was soft and deep. Completely composed. Almost gentle. “If this is happening, it’s going to be on my terms. I have three months left, and I’m going to live them the way I want. I won’t spend them sick in a hospital room from a treatment that’s not going to fix anything.”

“How do you?—?”

“Eve, I’ve made my decision.”

His quiet declaration hit her hard. Like a sledgehammer. Her throat closed up, choking her. Her vision went blurry. She swayed in her chair, suddenly afraid she was going to fall over.

She’d never even liked Jude all that much, but he was a decent guy. A twenty-nine-year-old man who should have had his whole life ahead of him. He had any number of things left to do. He could get married and have kids. He had so many books left to write.

The reality of it rose in her throat, then higher until it was filling her head. The pressure of shock expanded against her skull until she was afraid her head might literally explode.

Then her stomach suddenly heaved.

She choked on the sudden nausea. Jumped to her feet in a panic and ran toward the door, but it was too late to make it to a bathroom.

She bent over and vomited into a trash can near the door.

As she heaved and gasped, she was vaguely aware of a murmuring voice near the desk. Since it wasn’t directed at her, she assumed it was Jude talking on the phone.

She wasn’t in fit condition to focus on what he said.

When she’d emptied her stomach, she collapsed in a nearby wingback chair. Tears streamed down her face and her nose was running, so she gratefully yanked several tissues out of the box Jude came over to offer her.

She mopped her face, and he dragged another chair over and positioned it across from her.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, desperately trying to pull herself back together with help from her wad of damp tissues. “I don’t know what happened to me.”

“Probably just the shock.”

When there was a tap on the door, Jude went over to answer it, receiving a mug from Nancy with murmured thanks and nodding toward the garbage can she’d thrown up into. Nancy tied off the bag and took it with her as she left.

He sat back down and gave the mug to Eve, who held it in both hands and took a sip without thinking.

Hot tea. Very strong and very sweet tea. She took a few more sips until her stomach and her spirit settled.

“I’m really sorry about the collapse,” she said at last, setting the mug on the small table beside her. “It’s the last thing youneed to be worrying about right now. I’m so, so sorry this is happening to you, Jude.”

He nodded, glancing away and swallowing visibly before he replied, “I started having headaches. Not the normal sinus headaches I’ve gotten all my life. These were different. A lot worse. They knocked me out, and they came more and more frequently. Every few days. So I went to my doctor, who sent me to a neurologist who wanted to do an MRI and some other tests. I met with the doctor afterward to get the results in person.”

“The letter says you weren’t answering their calls and messages.”

“They wanted a follow-up appointment to plan treatment, and I’d already decided I didn’t want that. So he sent that letter to cover his liability.”

It all made sense. A bleak, terrible kind of sense.

“So three months?” she asked, only a slight rasp in her voice now. She was feeling better since the shock was dissipating. Heavy. Sadder than she would have expected given she’d never been close to Jude. But mostly just heavy.

“Three months.” He met her eyes with a deep, thoughtful attention that had always characterized the man, as if his whole mind was focused only on her.

It occurred to her then to wonder why he’d told her in person like this. She had to be very far down the short list of people he was close to. “What can I do to help, Jude?”

He opened his mouth. Closed it again. Then glanced away and said, “You can marry me.”

Eve blinked. Very slowly.

---