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But this… This was intimate but not sexual. And he was drowning in it.

He was drowning.

His eyes felt stretched. Too heavy. They burned, and he was horrified when a tear streamed out of one eye and down the side of his face.

He wasn’t crying. He had no idea where the tear had even come from.

Maybe she wouldn’t see it.

“I had lunch with a few friends from school today,” she said lightly, pleasantly. She gently swiped the tear away.

He mumbled something incoherent in response.

Taking it as an answer, she went on. “I hadn’t seen them in years. They were all giddy about us getting married. They wanted to hear all the details. I couldn’t tell them the real reason of course, so I acted like we had a whirlwind romance and both got swept away by our feelings.”

She continued with a light recounting of her lunch and their conversation, and it helped anchor Jude back to the familiar. Hetried to respond with mumbles to let her know he was listening, and she kept up the massage the whole time.

It still felt far too good. Far too needed.

But at least he wasn’t drowning anymore.

He must have dozed off because the world had shifted when he became conscious again.

Someone was talking, and it wasn’t Eve.

Nancy. “Bless his dear heart,” she was saying. “He was working so hard all day and was feeling so bad. Don’t wake him up. He can eat later.”

“I’m not asleep,” he said, fighting through the groggy haze. He was intensely self-conscious about letting go so completely. It was one thing for Eve to witness it. He wasn’t okay with anyone else seeing him like that.

His head was still on Eve’s lap, but she moved her hands from his hair as he sat up. “I’m okay,” he said, blinking and relieved to discover his brain was working again. “I’m awake.”

“Just in time,” Eve said. “Nancy brought in some dinner for us.”

“Okay. Good.” As the sleep dissipated from his mind, he became aware of a few more details. His headache was still there but was much milder. Just a slight pulsing. Easily manageable.

Another thing was that he was starving.

Nancy had made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans—his favorite as a boy. It smelled delicious, and he thanked her as she got their plates ready, apologizing for being grumpy all day.

He and Eve ate in companionable silence, and he had to admit that he felt entirely better after they were done.

“You feel up to writing some more?” Eve asked, her eyes scanning his face and likely seeing more than he wanted her to.

“Yeah. I’m a lot better.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you. For… for helping.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled at him. “I’m glad I could help. I’m going to take a bath.” She got up but leaned over and brushed some of his hair back behind his ear, as if she couldn’t help it. “You finish your chapter.”

“I will.”

He watched her until she left the library. Then he went back to his desk.

Less than an hour later Eve returned wearing cotton pajamas and smelling of an appealing combination of vanilla and citrus. She asked him if it would bother him if she read in the window seat since she wasn’t used to the big house yet and felt most comfortable in the library.

He said it was fine. It was only fair that she feel at home here, and he knew she wouldn’t talk or disturb him.

The truth was he kind of liked having her there anytime he glanced away from his work.

He couldn’t believe she was his wife.

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