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He nodded jerkily. “Yeah. Of course. Thanks.” Then a wave of guilt and responsibility hit him. “Wait, I can do it.”

Eve straightened up. “Okay. Whatever you prefer.”

He tried to get out of the car but couldn’t.

She waited for him in silence. It felt like a long time.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled at last. “I have no idea what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s like you’ve been hit by a truck. Of course you’re knocked out by the news. If it’s easier, I can go inside. Then you can get out whenever you’re ready.” Her eyes were wide and anxious as she stared down at him. “But if I do that, I’d really like to be able to tell Nancy and your dad what’s going on. I don’t want them to have to wait any longer.”

Her suggestion felt like a weight off his shoulders. “Okay. Yeah. If you don’t mind. I should do it, but…”

“You don’t have to do it, Jude. I’m happy to tell them. You take whatever time you need. I’ll be inside. Will you go to the library?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be in there.” He rubbed his face roughly, trying to wake up his brain from his stupor. “I’m sorry.”

She leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “Don’t be sorry. Come find me when you’re ready.”

Her voice wobbled on the last words, and it hurt him for some reason.

He couldn’t think clearly enough to figure out why.

She walked through the garage to where Nancy was waiting at the door. Her skirt swayed around her calves. Her long, loose hair bounced slightly with her motion. She was trying so hard to give him what he needed.

He loved her so much. And now he had a long life to spend with her.

But that wasn’t what their marriage was supposed to be about.

What if it wasn’t what she wanted?

Jude sat for about ten minutes in the car before he found the energy to stand up and walk inside to the library. He closed the door behind him and made it over to the couch, where he completely collapsed.

He closed his eyes and tried clearing his mind, starting from a blank and then slowly filling the void with one small thought after another. But the whole mess came rushing back in as soon as he’d let the first thought in.

For several minutes, he let the tidal wave wash over him until he could finally start making sense of it.

He’d always been an overthinker. Deeply introspective. His brain was always active and usually had the capacity for anything he attempted. His books were widely lauded as intelligent, contemplative, and cerebral while still accessible to a mainstream reader. Some critics complained that his pacingstalled anytime he got sidetracked with irrelevant questions or enigmas.

His brain could normally unravel any situation or problem, so he wasn’t sure why it was failing him right now.

Eventually he’d rehashed everything that had happened so many times that there wasn’t anything new to analyze. He still had no idea what might happen to his life and his relationship with Eve now that he wasn’t going to die. He’d come to no resolutions or answers, and he lay on the couch in utter exhaustion.

He might have even dozed off for a couple of minutes.

Then he thought about Eve. He’d sent her away when she’d been run over by the same truck he had.

He might have hurt her feelings.

And he hadn’t even spoken to his father. To Nancy. Both of whom loved him and would care deeply about the news.

The guilt of it drove him to his feet. He strode out of the library and down the hall, glancing into rooms until he found the three of them in his father’s office.

His dad was behind the desk but obviously not working. Eve and Nancy were sitting in the side chairs.

All three of them turned in surprise at his appearance.

“I’m okay!” he burst out since they were obviously anxious about him. “I’m sorry. I’m okay.”

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