He heard the thread of desperation in her question; one that begged him to tell her that truth. Only, that truth, would be a lie.
Oh, God.
Marcia rocked back on her heels. Understanding filled her eyes. “Someonedidoffer you money to marry me,” she whispered. “Didn’t they?”
“Marcia.” He could not form a single, coherent thought, the tightness in his chest making it impossible to focus on anything other than her.
“You don’t deny it,” she said, her eyes stricken.
No, he didn’t. Because he couldn’t.
Andrew, coward that he was, desperately found himself wishing to follow DuMond and his men from the room. He wanted to be anywhere that wasn’t here in this moment. Andrew remained motionless, unable to move, unable to get a proper breath through his tightly constricted lungs.
She had gathered the truth. Of course she had. She was clever. She’d have always figured it out.
But she’d deserved to know.
“Marcia,” he tried again.
“I should have thought you might have mentioned if you were receiving money to marry me,” she remarked, her voice pitched.
Oh, God. He briefly squeezed his eyes shut. “It didn’t seem important,” he said hoarsely. This moment, his life, their life together, were spiraling rapidly away from him, and he was helpless to put back together the pieces of them.
“Didn’t seem important?” Marcia cocked her head.
And there it was.
His heart thudded a painful beat against his chest. His mind blank, he fought his way through the fog, to stream together words that would make this right.
“Who?” she demanded.
“You needed security. You needed my name. I would have never left you in such a way,” he entreated, willing her to believe him, and it was the truth.
Marcia angled her chin up. “That isn’t what I asked.”
No, it wasn’t.
“My brothers-in-law… I lost money to Huntly years ago,” he said, his voice hollow, his explanation meandering. “They held on to it for me. Kept it safe.” Because they knew you wouldn’t. They knew you were a wastrel and worthless. Unable to meet her eyes, he looked briefly away. “Rutland indicated they would return those monies and properties if I… if I…”
Marcia stared expectantly at him.
Andrew made himself complete the admission, owning that sin. “If I married you.”
Marcia froze, and then her face fell; her eyes going wide and stricken, she hugged her arms around her middle. “Oh, my God.”
“Please, Marcia,” he begged, striding over. “It wasn’t just about the money.”At all.
“Don’t!” she cried, her voice pitchy and shaken, and the sound of her suffering gutted him from the inside out.
Andrew stood motionless, allowing her that space she craved, forcing himself to watch her fight her way through the tumult. Then, Marcia sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “I knew nothing about the arrangement between you and Lord Rutland,” she said softly, smoothing her hands down the front of her skirts.
Andrew closed his eyes. He was going to lose her. Nay, he’d already lost her.
“Did you think those details didn’t matter, Andrew?” she pressed when he remained incapable of anything but silence. “Hmm? Did you think I wasn’t entitled to the knowledge that you werebribedto marry me.”
“I wasn’t bribed,” he rasped. He opened his mouth to say as much, to save himself and their marriage at any cost. “I was offered—” A fortune tonotmarry her. To tell her might salvage some of her feelings for him, but that would only bring hurt to her relationship with her father.
Marcia’s golden brows came together. “Yes?” she prodded him, her voice containing the same desperation that gripped him now.