Page 39 of Forbidden Professor

Carter

As I watchEve walk away, my heart sinks.

I hate hurting her. It’s painful to see the look on her face, the disappointment in her eyes. I want to stop her from leaving, gather her into my arms and assure her that everything will work out in our favor.

But I don’t.

I let her leave, without even a hint of regret showing on my face.

I have to do it this way. I know it hurts more. But in the end, a clean break will allow her to move on fully. She should find someone else that can openly love her in the manner that she deserves. The thought of someone else touching Eve makes me nauseous, but what can I do? I don’t have any right to ask her to stay single and loveless just because we can’t be together. That’s absurd.

So, I sit there and watch her leave, my head swirling. I’d told myself last night that I was done.

And yet, here I was after meeting with her again. I was walking a fine line in my head between being courteous and kind and being firm with her. I didn’t want to just ignore her. I felt like we needed some sort of closure.

So why do I feel like shit? Why do I feel that despite the fact that I am determined to do the right thing here?

Eve doesn’t deserve this. She deserves someone who can love her fully, openly, without any restrictions at all. She deserves someone who will worship her and make her feel loved and secured every single day of her fucking life.

Fuck, I want that someone to be me. This whole thing is infuriating.

God, I want her. I need her. Her kisses, her touch, her body… Her mind.

It’s not just sex that I want from Eve. I truly love being around her. I love the way she makes me feel, the way she makes me laugh.

The way my body feels like it’s actually alive when she’s near.

Maybe there’s a way, I think, with an audible sigh. I feel like I’m on a roller-coaster, unable to reconcile what I want with what I feel like I should do, and it’s sheer madness.

I consider alternative solutions, trying to remove all emotion from the equation.

If I didn’t have my job, then it wouldn’t matter in that regard. I could reach out to my buddy Rick, who offered me a job last year as a molecular scientist at his nutritional company start-up.

It was my mother who insisted and expected I go into academia. It was never trulymydream.

Maybe I don’t have to do what was expected of me. Maybe I could carve out a life to suit my own needs.

I could talk to Aiden. Talk to my mother. I could stand up to them, once and for all.

Aiden might not be as challenging as my mother. I need to be prepared for that. The backlash that might occur from going against my mother’s wishes could be harsh.

But, maybe, just maybe, it’s time to face the music.

It would mean starting over completely. Everything I’d worked for, my job at the university, would be sacrificed and it would take a lot of rebuilding to get back to a level playing field.

I finish my coffee and head out of the Starbucks.

ChapterSeventeen

Carter

I holdout for three days before I break and call Eve. It’s like I have no choice. I dream about her, fantasize about her, stalk her house. But there is no sign of Eve. When I call, I get her voicemail.

Hi, it’s Eve. Leave me a message…

I slam the phone down with an angry sound. I go about my day, but all I think about is the woman I rejected. Why won’t she pick up? Is this a punishment?

I stare at my phone and will it to ring. The silence feels unbearable.

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