Page 9 of Prize for the Alien Grumpus

My mind flashes to the legendary warrior of the Ataxian resistance. "Ah yes, Ryu Dalf! The mightiest of warriors."

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer!" Sam breaks into song, bouncing on tiny feet. "Had a very shiny nose!"

I frown. This version lacks the proper blood and glory of the original battle hymn.

"And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows?"

"Yes! Like a light bulb!"

"The proper lyrics are Ryu Dalf with your power blade so bright, won't you maim and slay tonight." I demonstrate with a swooping motion. "Won't you maim and slay tonight?"

Sam giggles. "That's not how it goes! But I like your version better."

This offspring shows remarkable potential. Perhaps its mother - my mysterious liberator - possesses similar qualities. "Close enough, little one. Is your mother home?"

"She's inside. Want to meet her? She makes the best hot chocolate!"

The door bursts open. A small figure emerges, covered head to toe in bulky padding that makes her look like an Earth sports warrior. The scent hits me - it's her, my liberator.

"Do you have the hot chocolate the child speaks of?"

"No." She charges forward with surprising speed. "But I've got a fresh cup of whoop ass!"

The stick in her hands whistles through the air. It connects with my shoulder, the impact barely registering against my hide. Another blow lands across my chest.

"Get away from my child you blue-furred freak!"

"Now see here-" The stick cracks against my jaw.

"Take that! And that!"

Each strike punctuates her words. The sheer audacity of this tiny female attacking a being of my power would be amusing if it weren't so insulting. But the life debt... curse these ancient customs.

I back away, raising my hands. "If you would just listen-"

"Nobody threatens my family!" She advances, stick raised high.

"Mom, wait!" Sam calls out. "He's nice!"

Another swing forces me to duck. The female's fierce protection of her offspring is admirable, if misplaced. I continue my retreat, grinding my teeth at the indignity of it all.

"Die, monster!"

The stick connects with my horns. Stars explode behind my eyes - not from pain, but pure frustration at being unable todefend myself. Who knew freedom would come with such... complications?

Enough of this nonsense. My muscles bunch and release, propelling me skyward. The night air whistles past my fur as I soar over the quaint dwellings these humans call homes. Their garish holiday displays blur beneath me - strings of lights forming patterns that mean nothing to my ancient eyes.

The drainage ditch breaks my fall with a splash of stagnant water. Perfect. Now I smell like wet fur and defeat. The indignity of retreating from a female wielding nothing but a stick...

"How rude." My voice echoes off the concrete walls. "After I showed such restraint with her offspring."

The life debt weighs heavy on my conscience. By the ancient laws of my people, I must repay the one who freed me from that cursed sleep. Even if she did try to bash my brains in with sporting equipment.

"Well, I have no choice but to try another approach."

The water drips from my fur as I consider my options. Perhaps flowers? No, too traditional. Chocolate? The small one did mention her prowess with the beverage. But that seems insufficient for a female capable of such ferocity.

A proper courtship gift should reflect the recipient's warrior spirit. Something that shows I recognize her strength while acknowledging the debt between us. Yes, that might work.

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