Page 5 of Prize for the Alien Grumpus

I lift my snout, testing the air. The trail leads upward, toward the surface.

These stairs weren't built for someone my size. My horns scrape the ceiling with each step, leaving gouges in the plaster. The female's scent grows stronger - she passed through here recently.

A blast of crisp air hits my nostrils. Not recycled. Natural atmosphere. So I'm planetside, not on a station. The scent carries traces of hydrocarbons and organic decay typical of pre-spaceflight civilizations.

The stairwell opens onto a street packed with primitives. They march in formation, but their discipline is laughable. Some wave colored strips of fabric. Others blow into crude sound-producing devices.

And everywhere, colored lights and restive red and white striped meat hooks. This is clearly a celebration of some kind. Many people in the procession and those observing wear the red and green livery of this kingdom.

Wait. That floating effigy...is that supposed to be me? The horns, the blue fur, even the snarl - a crude representation, but unmistakable.

"Look at that amazing costume!"

"So realistic!"

The crowd roars as I step into their ranks. They recognize their better, as they should. Their celebration can only be in my honor - perhaps tales of my previous visits survived through their generations.

"That's right!" I raise my arms, basking in their worship. "Bow before Krampus!"

Their cheering intensifies. Small ones perched on shoulders point and wave. Primitive recording devices flash.

"Best parade ever!"

"The effects are incredible!"

These beings are pathetically small and fragile. Their bodies would crumple like paper in my grip. No wonder the Grolgath chose this backwater for their operation.

"Yes, that's right, worship your new Overlord." I bare my fangs in what passes for a smile. "These beings are small and squishy and weak. No wonder the Grolgath came here. I can conquer this world with one hand behind my back."

The procession grinds to a halt. My admirers crash into each other like dominoes, their crude instruments squawking in discord.

"No more destruction of our heritage!" A line of humans blocks the street ahead, linked together with primitive metal restraints. Their signs wave in the winter air. "Save the Blackwood Building!"

"How dare you interrupt my celebration?" My voice booms across the street. These insolent worms think to impede my grand parade?

"We've chained ourselves together! You'll never move us!"

A growl builds in my chest. The surrounding crowd falls silent, their festive energy replaced by delicious tension.

"I am KRAMPUS. I have torn apart space stations with my bare hands. I have wrestled star-krakens into submission. And you think your pathetic chains can stop me?"

My roar drowns out their chants. Windows rattle. Car alarms shriek in harmony. The protesters' faces drain of color as I stalk toward them.

"Oh shit. Oh shit. Where's the key?" Their leader fumbles with trembling hands. "I swear I just had it!"

"Found it!" Another one produces a small metal object. "What a fortunate coincidence!"

They scramble to unlock their restraints, practically falling over themselves to clear the path. Their signs litter the ground in their wake.

The crowd erupts in cheers. "Way to go, big guy!"

"That was awesome!"

"Best parade character ever!"

I spread my arms wide, accepting their renewed adoration. These humans may be primitive, but at least they know how to properly appreciate their betters. Unlike those foolish protesters who dared stand in my way.

"The parade continues!" I declare. "As it should!"

---