Page 35 of Prize for the Alien Grumpus

My hand closes around his jacket. The human's eyes widen as his feet leave the ground.

"Wait, what are you-"

One casual flick of my arm sends him rocketing upward through the parking structure's levels. The concrete shatters, leaving a neat hole through each floor. His scream dopples away as he breaks atmosphere.

"Make sure you don't hit Santa's sleigh on your way to the sun!"

I gather my bags and check the time display. The lines at the "customer service" desk cost me precious minutes. A sleek black vehicle sits in Mel's driveway when I pull up - some Earth machine called a Bentley.

My enhanced hearing picks up voices inside. Mel's stress levels must be astronomical.

I activate my image inducer's formal wear setting. The hologram shimmer settles into what the movies call a "cable knit sweater" and "khakis." Apparently this combination signals both prosperity and trustworthiness to human parental units.

Time to put my downloaded knowledge to use. According to "The Christmas Cookie Catastrophe," parents love a successful businessman who knows his way around a kitchen.

I straighten my illusory collar and head for the door. Operation: Perfect Boyfriend is about to commence.

CHAPTER 13

MEL

Itake a deep breath as my parents arrive, doing my best to keep a polite smile on my face. "Mom, Dad, welcome! I'm so glad you could make it." I usher them inside, trying not to fidget.

My mom surveys the catered spread with a slight frown.

"Well, Melinda, this is certainly...convenient. I had hoped we could all enjoy a nice, home-cooked meal together." Her tone is laced with gentle disapproval.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I've been so busy with work and Sam, I just didn't have the time. But the food is delicious, I promise."

My dad chimes in, "Yes, well, a growing girl like Samantha needs a proper home-cooked meal. You really should make more time, dear."

I clench my jaw, willing myself to stay calm. "I do the best I can, Dad. Sam is healthy and happy, that's what's most important."

"Of course, of course." He pats my arm condescendingly. "We just worry about you, that's all."

The thud of heavy boots on my porch makes my stomach drop. Sam races to the window, her face lighting up.

"He's back!"

"Who's back?" Dad's question hangs in the air as the front door swings open.

My jaw drops. There stands Krampus in his human disguise - tall, broad-shouldered, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes. He balances an enormous Christmas tree in one arm like it weighs nothing, while the other cradles a mountain of perfectly wrapped presents.

The scent of fresh pine fills the room as he strides in, tracking snow across my clean floor. I'm too stunned to speak.

"Who's this?" Mom's eyes light up as she gives him a not-so-subtle once-over.

"I am Melanie's boyfriend," Krampus announces in that deep rumble that makes my toes curl. "Doctor John Smith, Quarterback at Law."

My hand flies to my face.

Sam bounces on her toes. "He brought presents!"

I catch Mom shooting me an approving look. Great. Just great. The seven-foot-tall alien criminal is actually impressing my mother.

"A quarterback, a Doctor, and a Lawyer?" Dad adjusts his glasses, peering at Krampus with that look he reserves for when he's about to tear someone apart.

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