Page 31 of Prize for the Alien Grumpus

"Mel. Look at me."

I open my eyes. His red gaze holds mine, fierce and certain.

"I am not your ex-mate," he says firmly. "I am not leaving. And I will tear apart anyone who tries to take this happiness from you."

"You can't promise that." I say.

"I just did." His other hand comes up to frame my face. "I am Odex. We do not make promises lightly."

Krampus leans in, his breath warm against my lips. My heart stutters - this is happening, I'm about to kiss an alien fugitive while my daughter sleeps between us and-

When I snap my fingers and take my bow, everybody gonna go pow pow!

Ice floods my veins. The phone vibrates in my pocket, that distinctive ringtone freezing me in place.

No. Not now. Not them.

My hands shake as I pull out the phone. The screen confirms my worst fears: "Mom & Dad."

"What manner of communication device makes such peculiar sounds?" Krampus pulls back, head tilted in confusion.

The phone continues its cheery electronic assault.

Got an itchy finger on my trigger, I'm a rootin' tootin' cowboy...

"Something far, far worse than Grolgath invaders." My throat goes dry as I stare at the screen. "My parents."

"The ones you said were deceased?" His brow furrows.

"No, my adoptive parents. The ones who raised me after..." I swallow hard. "The ones who think I'm a successful executive living in a penthouse apartment, married to a doctor, and definitely not harboring an alien fugitive while fighting off an invasion."

The phone keeps ringing. Sam stirs between us.

"Your progenitors believe false things about your life situation?"

"Welcome to Earth family dynamics." I press my palm to my forehead. "Oh god, what am I going to tell them?"

"You wouldn't understand." I let the phone ring out. "It's complicated."

"Try me. My cognitive functions exceed your species by several orders of magnitude."

"Fine." I stroke Sam's hair as she dozes. "My parents adopted Alice first. Perfect Alice with her perfect grades and perfect life. Then they got me."

"Another offspring unit. And this displeased you?"

"No, I loved Alice. Still do. But..." The memories sting. "While she was winning cheerleading trophies, I was in the shop class learning to rebuild engines. She dated the quarterback. I dated the guy who sold pot behind the bleachers."

"These distinctions hold significance?"

"To them? Everything. They wanted two perfect daughters. Instead they got one success story and one..." I wave at myself. "Disappointment."

"You appear fully functional to me."

"Thanks. But they wanted more. Every parent-teacher conference, every report card, every family dinner - I saw it in their eyes. Where did we go wrong with Mel?"

"So the fiction about your current life circumstances..."

"Seemed easier than admitting I'm a single mom working as a glorified coffee fetcher." I shrug. "They already blame themselves for how I turned out. Why make them feel worse?"

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