Page 1 of Prize for the Alien Grumpus

CHAPTER 1

MEL

You ever get the feeling your boss is from outer space?

Let's face it, bosses are weird. I mean, who else would even come up with the concept of trust falls but a total weirdo? Just saying.

I'm used to my bosses being eccentric. But my latest boss, Mr. Gregor, takes the cake.

Let's not even worry about the fact his last name is a first name. I'm way past that at this point. This is going to sound weird, but I've never seen Gregor blink. Not once. And one time, I came in on him in the break room and he was mainlining coffee straight from the pot. Piping hot coffee, the kind that results in million dollar lawsuits for fast food franchises.

The telltale squeak of dress shoes on linoleum makes me alt-tab faster than a teenager hiding porn. Not that I'm hiding anything illicit - just my personal observations about the most peculiar boss I've ever had.

"Hey there, Mel. Having a productive morning?" Mr. Gregor's voice comes from above my cubicle wall, perfectly pitched to sound casual. Too casual.

"Always, sir." My reply is cheerful, and hides what I've been up to. I hope.

He drapes himself against my cubicle wall in what I assume is supposed to be a relaxed pose. It reminds me of those poseable action figures Sam plays with - all awkward angles trying to approximate human movement.

"Great, great. Say, I've got some files that need processing." He drops a data stick on my desk. "About ten gigs worth."

The stick gleams under the fluorescent lights. That's a lot of data entry, but hey - at least I know I'll be home in time for Sam's soccer practice.

"I'll get right on it."

"Excellent. You're really..." He pauses, consulting what looks like a small notepad. "...crushing it."

I bite back a smile. Modern slang from Mr. Gregor sounds about as natural as my ex-husband's promises of fidelity.

"Thanks. I appreciate that."

He nods - three times, exactly - and walks away with that peculiar stiff-legged gait of his.

The thing is, for all his oddities, Mr. Gregor's actually a decent boss. The pay keeps Sam in new sneakers, and I've never missed a parent-teacher conference or dance recital. In this economy, that's worth putting up with a few... quirks.

I plug in the data stick and get to work. Numbers, dates, figures - they fill my screen in neat rows, waiting to be sorted and filed. Just another Tuesday at Ayl Lean Company.

The data sorts into neat digital piles as my fingers fly across the keyboard. File after file slots into their digital homes - a place for everything and everything in its place. The mindless task lets my thoughts wander to tonight's dinner plans. Maybe I'll pick up some takeout to go with that cake-

My phone buzzes. Annie's smiling face pops up on the screen.

"Hi Annie, everything okay with Sam?"

"Oh yes, she's fine! Just wondering if she can have another cookie? She finished all her homework early."

The proud mom smile spreads across my face before I can stop it. "Tell her no. I'm going to bake a German chocolate cake tonight so she doesn't need more sweets before then."

Through the phone, I hear Annie relay the message, followed by Sam's high-pitched squeal of joy. That kid's sweet tooth rivals mine - guess that's karma for you.

"Thanks Annie. See you in a few hours."

Back to the grindstone. The files aren't going to sort themselves, though sometimes I swear they do - especially when Mr. Gregor gives them to me. Half the time they seem pre-organized in ways that make no sense, but somehow work perfectly for our system.

Click, drag, drop. Click, drag, drop. The rhythm of office work, as soothing as a lullaby if you're weird enough to find data entry relaxing. Which I am.

The last file drops into place with a satisfying digital thunk. Done and dusted, as my grandmother used to say. Though I doubt she ever applied that phrase to computer work.

The crisp winter air nips at my cheeks as I step out of the office building. My good mood from a productive workday carries me down the sidewalk with a spring in my step. Maybe I'll splurge on some fancy hot chocolate mix for Sam-

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