Page 51 of Two Weeks in Tahoe

“You know, I’m going to video call allthe time, Big J. And in a week or two, you and Liam can make the trip to Sacramento. It will be like no time has passed at all. You’ll love Sacramento, there’s so much to do there. We can go to the zoo, theme parks with crazy rides, museums…”

His face softens a little.

“Why can’t you just move here? Uncle Liam says you will eventually. That you’re just being an independable woman right now.”

I chuckle.

“An independent woman? Yeah, I might be a little bit of that. But I’ve had to learn to be that way…since I didn’t really have many people to depend on this past year. Only Daniela, really.”

“Will I have to be an independable woman too?” he asks. I laugh again, grabbing his shoulders.

“No. You get to enjoy being a kid, and you get to do it with the coolest, most awesome uncle in the whole world.”

“Yeah…but you would be the coolest, most awesomest aunt in the world too.”

My heart skips, and for a moment, I let myself picture it. Being with Liam, becoming a family with the two of them, maybe adding to that family one day…

I shake my head. I can’t let myself picture that right now. Maybe I am running away because part of me is scared, but I also believe in my heart that if we are meant to be, it will all work out. Our past is a perfect reminder of that. Finding him ten years later and connecting the way we have…I don’t really believe in fate, but it seems like something close to it.

If Liam hadn’t been willing to wait for me, if he’d said he couldn’t do this long-distance thing we’re trying, then I don’t know what would have happened. I don’t know what I would have done if I thought I’d really be losing him.

Liam is loading the last of my things in my car, and Jackson and I stand side by side, watching him. The mood is somber. He shuts the trunk with those powerful arms of his, then slips his hands in his pockets as he saunters over to us.

I give Jackson a big squeeze goodbye, then Liam asks him to go wait in the truck. Jackson squeezes me extra hard, then runs off.

A pit starts to form in my stomach. I take in every detail of Liam’s beautiful face as he inches closer to me with a solemn look on his face.

“You’ll be back,” he says. I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me or himself.

I offer a small, reassuring smile. I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. “It’s not forever. I just need a little more time to figure my own stuff out.”

Liam simply nods.

“You mean so much to me. You both do. I—”

He shakes his head again, putting a stop to my rambling. “Don’t. This isn’t goodbye. You’ll be back. And then I’ll say what I’ve been wanting to say for days now. But not until then.”

My heart drops into my stomach. I try not to dwell too hard on what he could mean, and I don’t press him further. If we go any deeper, I may never leave.

I know exactly what he means, though. I’m only fooling myself.

I watch him standing by his truck in my rearview mirror, hands in his pockets, as I drive away. I fight to hold back the tears.

37

Liam

When I was a teenager, Layla leaving so abruptly sucked. I liked her more in that twenty-four-hour period than I’d ever liked another girl in my young adolescent life. And the fact that we never got to say goodbye or have any closure ate away at me for months. I still thought fondly of her for years after. But this time when she left, it shattered me. Even though we promised to talk every day. Even though we said it’s not forever. It sucked.

But I know that it was a much harder decision for her than it was for me. She would have to change and give up so much, and I would have to give up nothing. And yeah, some people might say that I come with baggage. At only twenty-five years old, she would be taking on a six-year-old child.

So, I let her go. It wrecked me. She’ll be back though. I know it. And if she doesn’t come back, if she for some reason decides she needs to stay there, then I will leave this place that I grew up in, this place that I love and Jackson loves, to be with her. I don’t have a nine-to-five keeping me anywhere. And Jackson will adjust. His grandparents won’t be happy about the extra three hours between us, but they’ll manage.

In the meantime, while she figures things out, I’ll make sure she doesn’t slip away. It’s been a week since she left, and while she’s been busy preparing to start her new job, I’ve called and texted her every single day. She’s been calling and messaging me too.

“Why don’t you just go stay with her in Sacramento for a while, if you’re so miserable without her?” Dex asks me. I’m sitting in his kitchen visiting while Jackson is back in school.

“You know I can’t, man. Jackson. School.”

---