“Which hospital?”
I’m already in my car, starting the engine. She gives me the name and I head straight there. The trauma of the events of last year haunt me the entire drive to the hospital, and I struggle to keep it together. The only thing keeping me going is the need to get to Liam.
39
Layla
They won’t let me see him. They won’t tell me much either, since I’m not family. But I’ll wait as long as it takes. I’ll wait here forever.
Daniela arrives soon after me to keep me company. She knows what hell this is going to be for me. This hospital is the place I waited in fear and tears as my mom fought for her life fifteen months ago. She lost that battle. And my dad had already been pronounced dead at the scene. Sitting here now, hoping for Liam to pull through, is unimaginable torture. But I can’t even cry. I’m frozen with fear, there’s ice in my veins, and I’m sick to my stomach. I’ve vomited in the trash can twice already from the nerves. But I won’t let myself think the worst. I refuse. All I can do is hope.
A few hours later, Dex rushes in. He drove all the way from Tahoe City, so it took a while. He was with Liam, but he doesn’t have a scratch on him. He wraps us both in hugs the moment he sees us, and we inform him we still have no updates.
“What happened?” I ask desperately, barely giving him a chance to catch his breath before he sits beside me.
“We were out snowmobiling. You know how Liam is—always so careful, never drives too fast, never turning too sharp. Somehow, he hit something, it flipped, and he was trapped between the snowmobile and a boulder buried under the snow. It all happened so fast. It was a freak accident. I was right behind him on mine and saw the whole thing.” He runs a hand through his hair, releasing a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I have no other words.
Beside me, Daniela reaches out and holds my hand, and we settle down back into our chairs. Dex joins us. Daniela stays all night, bringing me snacks, walking with me to the bathroom, just being there. Dex stays too. None of us speak much. There’s a weird, heavy silence, and the idea of any kind of small talk doesn’t feel right. My mind has gone fuzzy and there’s a weird buzzing in my head. My thoughts keep flipping between Liam and the night of my parents’ accident. The parallels seem like a cruel twist of fate.
**
It's the middle of the night. Daniela and Dex are beside me, asleep. They’ve been nodding off here and there for a few hours, getting whatever rest they can in these stiff hospital chairs.
I spend the whole night wide awake, thinking of my parents and Liam. But mostly Liam. From that first time we met to now, and every little moment in between. I love him. I’m in love with him. And I hate myself for denying it, for trying to be “reasonable,” when I should have said to hell with it. I shouldn’t have cared if anyone else thought it was too fast or too impulsive—I should have stayed with him. If Jackson loses another guardian, I’ll never forgive myself. It feels like this is all my fault. I’m trying to have hope, and I’m silently sending whatever prayers, vibes and chants I can up into the universe.
Finally, someone comes over to talk to us. I don’t know if they’re really supposed to, but there’s no family here for him and we’ve been waiting all night, so I think someone took pity on us. His parents stayed back with Jackson, but they’ve called every hour for updates. No one told Jackson anything. They decided it was best not to freak him out. A six-year-old should only have to handle so much grief in his young life.
I squeeze Daniela’s hand too tightly as the doctor gives us a brief update, and I let out a breath that I feel like I’ve been holding in all night. Liam’s going to be okay. Most of him is completely fine, but there was some internal bleeding that had them concerned. He assures us it’s under control now though. They say we might even be able to visit in the morning. Hearing that he was in such a critical state makes me feel sick to my stomach all over again, but I’m also flooded with relief that he’s going to be alright. Relieved tears that I’ve been holding in all night flood down my face.
40
Liam
I hate being vulnerable, being the one that gets taken care of. I’m the caretaker. That’s who I’ve always been, what I’ve always done. So laying here in this damn bed, unable to move around or do anything, has been pure torture. I’m also in a lot of fucking pain. I told them to go light on the meds because I don’t like being bogged down by that stuff.
I’ve been begging to see Layla since I woke up. I knew she’d be here, even before they told me. It’s taken all morning, but they’re finally allowing me visitors. My girl is on her way in.
She walks in, looking like a fluorescent angel, bathed in a mix of hospital lights and the natural sunlight that seeps in through the half-open blinds. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
I smile weakly. “I made it to Sacramento,” I tease. Today was the day I was meant to come visit her. I just wasn’t supposed to get here quite like this.
She smiles back, then chokes on a sound that’s part laugh, part sob, and runs to me. But she stops short, hesitation in her eyes. She doesn’t want to hurt me.
“I’m so sorry,” she cries with tears swimming in her eyes.
I furrow my brows. “For what?” I ask, confused.
She shakes her head, the tears finally breaking free. “This is all my fault.”
“No. Stop it right now,” I say, grabbing her hand, pulling it gently to mine. I would grab both, but it hurts to lean over. “First of all, I’m going to be fine. Second of all, this was a stupid accident that was no one’s fault but my own. And maybe that damn boulder. This is not your fault, Layla.”
“I should have never left. I regretted it right away. I had all these plans for today, things I wanted to tell you…”
“What things?” my heart skips a beat at her admission. Curiosity floods through me.
She shakes her head again, wiping away tears. “We don’t need to talk about that right now. You need to rest. I’m just so happy you’re okay.”