Page 100 of Dmitri

“Don’t apologize for doing something you felt you had no choice of.”

His response is more than I deserve. Everything Dmitri’s giving me is more than I deserve. Tears spring out of me immediately, and I curl my legs up to hug my knees and tears well in my eyes.

This is awful.

“Fuck, come here.” Dmitri shoves the tray of food away and drags me across the floor and into his lap. “Damnit, woman, I can’t stand your tears. You’ve got to stop before I crack.”

Fuck, babygirl, I love your tears.

I cry harder.

How can these two men be so opposite and the same all at once? It’s driving me crazy. I think I’ve officially hit my breaking point and that’s why my eyes keep leaking. I’ve never felt so raw and hollow in my life. Rock bottom is a scary place to be. I’m starting to wonder if there’s any hope of climbing out of it.

“Can we just start teaching me how to defend myself?”

“After you calm down and eat, baby.”

That’s more than enough incentive to get my ass into gear.I polish off half the plate of fries and chug some water. I don’t have it in me to touch the burger or fruit cup. “Now?”

He swallows hard and nods, unfolding his body and standing up. He’s a giant in this space. Holding his hand out for me to take, we clasp hands, and he lifts me to my feet.

We go slow with my first lesson. My movements are sloppy because I’m seriously drained from the past few days, but Dmitri’s patient with me.

“Good girl,” he says after I block his kick. The smile he gives me shoots life into my heart. “Again.”

I repeat the movements over and over. Each time he fake-attacks me and I go through the moves, feeling a little more confident each time. But Kaleb doesn’t always punish me with his fists.

“What about when he has a knife?”

Dmitri’s balanced on one leg, the other extended over my head, like a martial arts instructor. He slowly brings his foot back down. “Aknife?”

My immediate instinct is to hide my bandaged arm, which is pointless, but I do it anyway.

“Okay,” he says quietly. “Hold this.” Calmly pulling out his own blade, he hands it over and shows me three simple ways to disarm him.

I know he’s being easy on me, but he’s also bigger than Kaleb, so my bravado lets me believe I can do this when the time comes. Maybe I’m being delusional. Or maybe it’s the constant encouragement Dmitri keeps giving me. Either way, I can almost see a light flickering at the end of my dark tunnel.

“Again,” I say, rejuvenated.

We practice for hours until Dmitri says we’re done.

“I’ll get mats for tomorrow.” He swipes the sweat from his brow. “It’s late. You should rest.”

I’m too buzzed with adrenaline to rest, but I’m not defyingthe man who’s helping me. I think if Dmitri told me to lick dog shit off his boot, I’d do it.

Anything to get the help I need to free myself from this constant torment.

“I’ll sleep outside,” he says, going for the door.

“Don’t leave.”

“My cot’s not big enough for both of us.”

“Then you take the cot. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Stepping closer to him, my hands ache to hold his arm and keep him close. “You make me feel safe,” I blurt out. “And I know I don’t deserve your help, but… please don’t leave.”

His eyebrows pinch together as he looks at the floor instead of at me. “I’m having a hard time trusting you, Daelyn.”

“I understand.”

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