Page 72 of Dmitri

“Then I’m speaking from experience.”

I close the gap between us, shoving my forehead to his, my nostrils flaring as I keep my temper on a short leash.

“There it is,” he says calmly. “The animal that’s been caged too fucking long.”

I reel back as if he’s punched me in the throat. It’s suddenly too tight with a swarm of emotions clogging it. “Fuck you,” I croak.

“I love you, D, but you’re too dangerous like this. Remember the last time you felt this way?”

My memory flips through the compartmentalized scenes of my past and yanks out one of many times I’ve blacked out with rage. I take another step back, suddenly grateful for the reminder. I am my father’s son, after all, and I can never forget that.

“What am I supposed to do, Ry?”

“Grieve. Blow off some steam. Find your peace.”

How the fuck do I do that? It’s not like I’m having a shit day or rotten week. My entire existence has been absolute Hell. You don’t find peace from that. You just keep burning.

“I’m here for you, Dmitri. Always. So are Knox and Vault. We’re your family. And in case you haven’t taken inventory, your family’s grown over the years. Sophie… Tara. You’re safe here. But you’re not safe being here.”

His meaning seeps into my black-fog brain. I’m dangerous to be around. It’s not something I’m proud of. Not after all the work I’ve done to tame my demons. It only took the news of my dad, who I haven’t seen in years, to derail a decade’s worth of work.

One step forward, ten steps back.

“You’re right.” That I was so willing to kill someone for disrespecting Sophie is a dead ringer that I’m not okay anymore. It’s one thing to say it. It’s another to mean it.

Will killing someone finally feed the starved monsterburied inside me?

Doubtful. That thing is insatiable.

“The woman you brought in last night…” Ryker cautiously says. “You seemed content with her.”

Contentisn’t the words I’d use to describe what I feel around Daelyn. But what we have isn’t real, so I’m not going to look closer at it. Especially now that she’s gone.

“She was fun,” I say nonchalantly, ignoring the pang in my heart. “But she’s gone now. I doubt she’ll return.”

“Mmm.”

Ryker folds his arms, and we stare at each other until I finally look away. “How long did you watch us?”

“Long enough.”

The entire club is wired heavily with surveillance cameras. If I’m honest, it’s one reason I brought her to the Monarch. Because if I went overboard and couldn’t reel myself back in, someone else would. That, and I have nowhere else to take her besides a hotel.

I live at the club. It’s never felt like an embarrassment until this moment. I have nothing to show for my life. All my money is divided up in other people’s dreams, to better them. And what’s left is a nest egg I have no clue what to do with. Having a house seems pointless. I’m always working at the Monarch, so I’d never be home to enjoy it. Investments outside my circle of friends aren’t an option because I don’t trust anyone else. I have nothing, and I am nothing.

And now I’m being forced out of the club and put on suspension. Lovely.

“Guess I’ll go.” My feet numbly take me to the door Ryker’s holding open.

“You want my place for a while? Tara and I can stay at—”

“No.” I’m not kicking him out of his house for any reason. Using Ryker’s personal playroom to blow my load occasionally isone thing, but staying longer than one evening is way too much. “I’ll figure something out.”

Leaving Ryker to his club business, I pull my cell out and make a call while sauntering down the hall. “Hey. You around?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“I’m coming over.”

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