Page 52 of On Thin Ice

“Yeah. I sort of blurted it out, but it makes sense to me. You know how chaotic our schedule is. I want to be able to be there for her, which is fucking hard with her in a different state. Shesaid I was crazy, but she promised to think about moving. Been three days, and I haven’t brought it up, and neither has she.”

“Maybe she thinks you just said it to say it.”

I sighed. “I told her more than once that I was serious, but I don’t want to pressure her, so I’m waiting for her to make the next move.”

“So you’re putting it on her?”

“Maybe,” I drew out.

“When she’s going through a lot of shit already?” His tone was level, but his quirked brow told me everything I needed to know.

“Fuck,” I groaned. “Yeah, I know. I’m being a coward about it. But I don’t want to pressure her.”

He laughed. “Yeah, you kind of do. You want her here to make things easier for you.”

“Harsh, man. I want everything to be easier for her, too.”

“So make sure she knows that you’re serious. Bring it up because while it might make sense, so does her staying in San Francisco where she has a huge support system with people that can show up twenty-four seven.”

“Don’t hold back,” I muttered.

“This is a huge deal for both of you, and your lives are changing. I’m not trying to be a dick about it, but in the long run, it’s best to talk everything through. You need to be upfront and honest with each other so there’s no confusion about what both of you want.” There was something in his tone that pulled me out of the conversation a bit.

“You okay?” I asked.

“What? Yeah. I’m fine. Just don’t let her question what you really want or that you need her here, okay? Regrets can sit with you for a long time.”

“Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Micah. Really,” I said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I wasn’t a guy who shared his feelings, and it wasuncharted territory to confide in a teammate like this. Fuck. I wanted to get off this bus and get on the ice immediately.

“You like her, right?” he asked.

I chuckled. “Yeah, I do. Our history is weird, but we always have a fun time together.”

He rolled his eyes. “Clearly.”

“Not just that. I mean, we never got deep or anything. It was always just for fun, but we’re working on getting to know each other now, and she’s amazing.”

And I was falling for her. Not that I was ready to tell anyone that. Hell, I barely admitted it to myself half the time. Fuck. We’d gone about all of this ass-backward.

“She feel the same?”

“No fucking clue, honestly. Maybe? She tolerates me.” It was hard to tell how she really felt about me, what with the whole baby daddy thing.

Micah chuckled. “You’re a mess, aren’t you?”

“You think?” I deadpanned.

“At least you have a couple months before you add a baby to the mix.”

“Yeah, I know. Nine weeks.” I wasn’t sure what else to say at this point. I needed to talk to Ally. But right now, I needed to focus on winning a hockey game or at least not being a liability to the team on the ice.

***

“Come on, come on,” Haldy yelled next to me on the bench as Tally caught a rebound and lined up to take another shot on goal. It was the start of the second period, and we were tied at one.

So far, I’d taken zero penalties and had an assist on our only goal, so the night was going well. I hitched my leg over the boards, ready to hop on the ice when Tally, Sin, and Santa gotoff. Surprisingly, I felt great after talking to Micah, even if the talk had been all about my feelings. I’d fired off a text to Ally to check on her before heading into the locker room. She’d quickly responded, telling me she was fine, and when I asked her if she was going to watch the game, she said maybe since the Strikers weren’t playing. Apparently, seeing her response was all I needed to get myself focused.

The clang of the pipes rattled through my ears as the puck bounced off the net again, but this time, one of LA’s forwards snagged it. Tally, Santa, and Sin skated up the ice after LA, but I caught a nod from Sin, and as soon as he had his feet off the ice, I slid into play, easily catching up with Tally and Santa. They were gassed, but because LA had the puck, we were changing lines one man at a time.

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