Page 116 of Snared

Jules was right. I was integral. And no matter what happened with Josh—with thisfakemarriage—my position within the band wouldn’t change.

I had to believe that.

I looked up from scanning the lyrics in Bash’s notebook and met Josh’s gaze. And if I read it right, it was a mixture of frustration and need.

I wanted to have a real conversation with him. I wanted to know where he stood.

And I wanted to not have my heart broken.

JOSH

I waited in the wings, watching the band play their second encore in DC. It’d been over a week since we’d left New Orleans, and tomorrow we headed to New York to play the final two shows of the tour.

My gaze, as always, was drawn to Charlie, perched behind her kit and pouring every ounce of energy she had into her playing. I could never tire of watching her.

Fuck.

There was nothing hotter.

And if I focused on this particular spike of lust for her, I could ignore all the questions swirling in my head. It’d been nine days since I’d gotten angry in that elevator in New Orleans, and she’d been hot and cold ever since.

We’d briefly talked about it. We’d moved on, or at least I’d thought we had, but sometimes I wasn’t sure.

Sure, we’d fucked in the last week. She was always amped up after a show, so we’d made use of our short hotel stays. But I still felt like something was missing. And I was being a coward and not fucking asking her like I should.

This was as close as I’d ever been to a real relationship, and it wasn’t even real. Or was it? It’d felt real to me, and most of the time, it still did. Fuck, I was flustered.

My phone pinged, drawing me out of my irritating thoughts.

Phillip: Tour’s almost up. Ready to have your bachelorhood restored?

Phillip: I have the papers drawn up and ready. I’m sure you’re itching to ditch the ring.

“What’s got you looking so glum, CH?” Jax asked, grabbing my phone. “We fucking killed it out there.”

I yanked it back. “Don’t touch what isn’t yours.”

“Touchy, touchy. Douchy dad messaging again?”

“Thankfully no. Just some stuff I have to follow up on since I’ve been away from my office for so long.”

“Hey, we’ve been going easy on you,” Jax said, slinging his sweaty arm over my shoulder.

I shrugged out of his hold. “Gross. I don’t want your stink on me.”

“You should be so lucky,” Jax said, walking backward down the hallway toward the dressing room.

Tristan stepped ahead of me to follow after Jax. “Ignore him.”

“He’s fucking exhausting,” Bash added with a grin.

The man couldn’t wait to get back home tomorrow, I could tell. Back to Cassie. The turnaround for Bash in the last few years has been amazing, and I would forever be grateful for Cassie coming back into our lives.

Before the tour started—before Vegas—I had never wanted what Bash and Cassie had. What Tris and Evie had. Too many chances of getting hurt. Too much vulnerability. But now, it was all I could think about. But only with Charlie. Was it insane to think we’d work out? That our fucked-up pasts wouldn’t destroy this once we were back in New York, back to reality?

Being on tour was a different animal. We were in a bubble, moving from one city to the next, rarely stopping to take a breath. It wasn’t real life. It was a fantasy and nightmare combined.

But I wasn’t ready to let her go.

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