Page 117 of Going All In

“This”—she waved her hands between them—“wasn’t supposed to be long term. I’m almost done with my master’s and I need to focus on making sure it’s perfect. You’re doing great, with new endorsement deals, great numbers, and low penalty minutes. I bet you’ll have that new contract with the team before the summer.”

“You’re joking.” He was dumbfounded.

“No. Please, Jake. We knew this wasn’t going to last, right?”

“Are you kidding me right now? We told each other that we love each other. I love you, Darcy. This stopped being temporary a long time ago,” he said, his frustration mounting as she stayed completely calm.

How the fuck was she so damn calm?

“I need to focus on school. I’m getting distracted. You’re distracting me. I missed a meeting last week with Dr. Maguire. I’ve never had that happen before.”

“So you’re panicking and think that we have to break up because you missed one meeting?”

“It’s not just one meeting. Dr. Maguire said my work hasn’t been at the level it was before you and I started this ruse.”

“After everything, you still want to call this—us—a ruse? What the fuck, Darcy,” he bit out, and she flinched.

Good. He wanted her to flinch. How could she brush away what they have as not real?

“We should’ve stopped when feelings got involved. That wasn’t the deal. I have to focus on school. I’ve worked so hard and will not be derailed now.”

“That’s what you think I am? A distraction? A derailment?” He shook his head. “Don’t blame me for this. I understand that it’s crunch time for you, and maybe it’s a little messier and time-consuming than what we both signed up for, but love is messy and I’m fucking in love with you. You can lie to yourself all you want, but this is real. This was real. You are going to throw it away, for what?”

He linked her hands with his, willing her to understand how invested he was in this. In her. How could she not see that?

“I have to focus on school, and going to hockey games and changing my life to fit in with yours isn’t helping me get there.”

“I never asked you to do that. I thought you enjoyed the games and spending time with me and my friends.”

“I do. But school is my main priority right now. That’s why we started this. Now I need to focus on this.”

“You’re going to end it in the middle of playoffs?” He was grasping for anything at this point.

“Oh please. You’re not superstitious, Jake. You can tell people that I’m busy with school. This wasn’t supposed to be long term, and this is what I need.”

“Fine. I get it.” But he didn’t fucking get it. He wanted her in his bed. In his arms.

Fuck. She already had taken over his heart. Not that he was going to tell her that now. He had never been like this before. He’d never gotten in deep. And now he knew why.

“I’m sorry, Jake. I think it’s for the best. We’ve reached the end of our deal. We don’t make sense going forward,” she said, softly.

He’d finally put his heart on the line. Put his trust in her—in them—and she was throwing it away. He didn’t believe her for a minute, but he wouldn’t push her. What good would that do at this point?

---