Page 35 of Fractured Rhythm

“Fuck you, man. I loved her. I love her. I always have,” I fired back, wishing I’d followed her into that Uber. I needed her to understand why, even if that reasoning was getting murkier by the second. I was a master with words, but every time I tried to explain myself to Cassie, my head went blank.

“Not enough,” Jax said. “Cassie is our family, and you destroyed that. She rarely showed up for shows after you guys broke up. I thought she was busy with school. That’s what she always said when I asked. But it was because of you and Jamie.”

“I know. I regret it, and I’m trying to fix it now. I should’ve done it years ago, but I’m an asshole and didn’t. I should go after her.”

Holly stepped forward, and I wondered if she was going to punch me.

“No. You need to leave her alone and wait to see if she reaches out to you. You owe her that. I’ll go to her apartment and check on her,” Holly said, fury in her eyes as she looked at me.

“I’ll get you a car,” Tristan said, and after Holly said good night to Jax, she followed Tristan down the stairs.

“You fucked up good this time, dumbass, and you better fix it, but Holly is right. Cas needs some time. Maybe give her a few days, but don’t wait for her to come to you. She’s stubborn as hell and you need to step up first. Fucking grovel on your hands and knees if you have to,” Jax said. He shook his head. “I can’t believe this happened. Man, Jamie never should’ve warned you away like that.”

“But he did, and there’s nothing I can do about the past. I’ll give her tonight, maybe tomorrow, but the anniversary is coming up and—damn, it’s been two years—and I’m going to be there for her. Even if she only wants to punch me or yell at me, I’ll be there like I should’ve been two years ago,” I said.

“Damn. Two years. What I wouldn’t give to see him again so I could kick his ass. He had his faults—so many of them—but I hate to think he would’ve wanted his best friend and his sister to be unhappy,” Jax said.

“I’d like to hope so, but he was pissed when he found out what was going on,” I said, motioning toward the waitress with my empty glass.

“Another round for both?” she asked, and I nodded, setting the glass back down on the table.

I slouched on the low couch, my legs sprawled, and I leaned my head back on the cushion. I knew telling her the truth would be rough, but I’d hated that she’d stormed out. I understood it, but I still hated that I had brought us to this.

“I’m sure he was. You were banging his little sister, our Cassiopeia. Hell, I was pissed too, until I saw how happy both of you were. Jamie would’ve come around. Might’ve taken a while, but he would’ve.”

“I’m not so sure, but we’ll never know, now. God, I can’t believe two years have passed.” I took in a shuddering breath along with a big gulp of the whiskey the waitress had just dropped off. “I completely ignored her at the funeral. I couldn’t face her after everything.”

“I know. I was there. She was heartbroken. It was understandable because her brother had died, but now I’m wondering if her heart-wrenching tears also had to do with you. She sobbed on me for hours, man.”

“Are you trying to hurt me?” I asked, unable to take any more of the guilt I deserved.

“No. Just telling you what happened. Now that we’re back in New York for a while, I want to see more of her, so you better fix this because I don’t want her bailing because she can’t be in the same room with you.”

“I know. I want to go over there now.”

“But you won’t because you’ve had too much to drink. I can see it in your eyes. You need to be sober when you talk to her again.”

“When did you get all serious and logical?” I asked, setting the half-empty glass on the table. Maybe I should lay off the whiskey for a while.

“I’ve always been, but I’m also hysterical. I’m a well-rounded fucker, a rare breed,” he boasted, and I laughed.

“Ahh, there’s the sarcastic joker I know,” I said. “I should probably head home.” I stood up, weaving a bit. Maybe I was a little drunk.

“And you’re going right home. Not stopping by Cassie’s,” he admonished.

“Yes, Mom,” I said with a salute.

“That’s right. Get home and sleep off the booze. And don’t forget to give her time, but not too much time,” Jax said, lifting his beer bottle at me.

“You staying?” I asked.

“Yeah, I have no intention of sleeping by myself tonight, and there’s a perky blonde down there waiting for me. Or maybe she’s brunette. Ooh, or a feisty redhead. Haven’t met her yet, but I will.”

“One day someone is going to give you a run for your money, man.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. Now get out of here. You’re cramping my style.”

I threw some bills on the table and headed down the stairs. I wanted nothing more than to stop at her place, but I’d wait. For up to two days. She shouldn’t be alone on the anniversary of her brother’s death. I was going to give her the hug I should’ve given her two years ago. Even if she would knee me in the balls when it was over.

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