Page 101 of Contention

He sighs, like she’s being childish. “Don’t be like this.”

Kara allows him to flip her onto her back, yet shuts her eyes tight. She senses him leaning over her, looking down at her face expectantly. He leans down to kiss her, but Kara averts her face. Nick makes a noise of annoyance, trying again.

Kara averts her face in the other direction.

He grips her chin and holds her steady, pressing his mouth to hers in a rough, consuming kiss, his tongue tasting hers. With a snarl, Kara pushes him and moves away from him, wiping her mouth with a glare.

“I didn’t do what I did to hurt you,” he says coolly. “You can drop the attitude now. It isn’t cute.”

Ha! He thinks she’s playing around. Not this time. She puts her back to him. Oh, look; there’s her work tote, on the floor…her skirt too…

“What do you want!?” He snaps finally.

“I don’t want anything from you!” Kara replies furiously, an edge of hurt creeping into her voice. “I want you to leave me alone.”

Nick pulls her back to the bed when she tries to leave, attempting to wrap his body around her, like he’s trying to keep her in place. He’s not much for cuddling, Kara knows, so it’s likely about control. The idea of her leaving him has always brought this reaction out of Nick.

He tries to sweeten her up, conniving, whispering in her hair as he keeps her on the sheets. “I won’t go out with the guys this weekend. I’ll stay in like a good boy should and you can play with me instead. How does that sound?”

Struggle is futile with him wrapped around her like a boa constrictor. Pissed off, Kara says, “Is that supposed to be your form of an apology?”

“If you want it to be.”

“You’re a bastard. I really don’t care at this point,” she replies blankly, staring up at the ceiling.

She feels like she’s drank gallons of rotten milk that’s now festering in her stomach.

Nick kisses her forehead. “Sure, you do. You’ll come over Friday. I’ll order in. You’ll feel better about all this by then.” He’s so sure of himself and Kara hates that. “We’ll be fine.”

He rolls away from her, leaving her hurt, exhausted, shaking form on the sheets.

Already, he’s starting to dress, pulling on his tie. Becoming pristine once more, as if Kara is nothing more than the scenery that he’s grown tired of.

Frankly, she’s getting a little sick of this routine. She numbly grabs her skirt, squeezing into it as she gathers her tote to her.

“Why are you like this? You just…distance yourself like nothing we do ever really happens.” Kara feels lost, hating herself for needing to say this. “You make me feel like I’m nothing. Half the time you just disappear into yourself like a ghost. Why do we even bother doing this? Going round and round like a sick carnival ride? Is there something wrong with me?”

He goes quiet, sitting still, suddenly looking very tired. The lines around his eyes deepen and he looks away. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” Quiet, so very soft and quiet.

“Don’t lie to me.” Kara’s had it up to here with him. “We screw and usually you go about your own way. You don’t believe in any sort of commitment. Sometimes, you let me hang around, sometimes you chitchat, but it’s all an act, isn’t it? You stabbed me in the back today and it means nothing to you. You don’t care about how upset I am. Then, you use my emotional state of unrest to get off.”

Disgust flashes across his features. “Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I don’t like being this way?”

Shocked, Kara can only stutter a few syllables out, because now she’s really lost.

Seeing her reaction, Nick scoffs with a hefty sum of self-loathing. “Do you think it makes me feel proud of myself, every time I feel aroused when you’re afraid of me? When I get turned on by controlling you? Being aggressive and overbearing? I’m aware that isn’t normal, but I can’t make it go away.”

Kara asks the obvious. “Well, whyareyou this way? Have you ever thought about getting help? What happened to you?”

His face contorts with anger. “We aren’t talking about this. You don’t need to know anything about the why or the how. Maybe I justam.”

“Oh, right. Just throw up your stupid emotional walls, Nick.Swell!” Kara shouts at him in disbelief. “You really are a piece of work. I’d help you if your asshole wasn’t so fucking clenched!”

“There’s no fixing me. It’s not that simple. You enable me to enjoy it,” he hisses. “I’ve never had that. Not given freely. Why do you think I’ve entertained myself with prostitutes before? Because they are willing to suck it up for money. Normal women looking for love run far away from me. Then, there’syou.”

Kara isn’t sure she likes where this is going.

“You come crawling to me, with all your spirit and filthy backtalk, and you aren’t afraid to hurt. You’ve taken what I can give you and you haven’t run away.” He grits his teeth, bright blue eyes flashing like a lightning storm. “I try to give you some normalcy, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. It drives me up the wall, knowing I can’t give you any sort of exclusivity when the thought of you with someone else makes me sick.”

---