Page 20 of Contention

One of Kara’s eyebrows lifts, despite the persistent pain in her forehead. “Oh, yes. You gave me your card.”

Once again, he rubs the back of his neck, looking away. A nervous-embarrassed gesture if she’s ever seen one.

“Right. I forgot,” he replies, meeting her gaze again with soft eyes.

Kara’s hungover and awful, so she cocks her head to the side to check him out a bit from behind her glasses, pondering his scruffy chin and deciding she’s fine with it. She’d like to dig her fingers in and maybe he’s nice enough to embrace the hurt-

Ray’s gaze lands upon something behind Kara and his lips turn downward, breaking her twisted thought process. Thankfully, because she doesn’t have a healthy track record with men as it is and she doesn’t need an opening to damage someone else.

She’d had a phase in college, going through boys like tissue. Her mother hadn’t been wrong; as soon as someone fell in love with Kara, she ran in the other direction. The emotion, the affection, coming from a male person, was terrifying to her. Wrong. Foreign.

Her father was not capable of love. Literally. It wasn’t an overreaction or a slur to say it.

There’s something wrong with him, you know.

Kara has never known a single healthy relationship. She’s aware that it has shaped her as a person and probably not for the good.

Coming out of her thoughts, Kara turns a bit to see what Ray’s looking at, somehow not surprised when it happens to be a familiar man with a finely tailored suit and a loud laugh. Everyone is taking advantage of the halt in rainfall.

Calais and Rugby are quite the distance away, in their own world, but Kara feels her heart jolt nonetheless. He’d not looked at her the entire time in court today, as if her presence were insignificant to him. As if she really were nothing.

Which, she supposes is the dark truth. She is nothing to him. A nameless face that he never expected to see again, there one moment and forgotten in the next. He’d gotten what he wanted. It hadn’t harmed him; it had been just another Saturday night in his posh fucking life. Not that it really harmed Kara either, but she’s mad about it, upset.

Kara’s palms begin to sweat at the sight of him, her stomach flipping uncomfortably. It’s stupid, really.Isn’t that what you always preferred? Insignificance? The kind of guys who couldn’t see beyond themselves and their needs?

She had told him that she wanted to go back to pretending not to know each other. And, that’s what she got. But it doesn’t seem fair, because every time she sees him, she can feel the ghost of his hand in her hair, gripping her jaw, the smell of him filling her head.

The strange gaps in her memory only make it worse, because she doesn’t remember what his cock feels like on her tongue and it bothers her wondering if when he sees her, he remembers what she looks like forced to her knees in front of him, locked in his unyielding grasp.

She can’t remember if he’d made any noises, during that time. Had she heard him come apart or was he the silent, controlled type? No doubt he was, but she wanted to remember the gaps. She wanted some sort of power, of control over him.

Her inhales become sharp as her mind races over these thoughts.

The detective must see something on her face…or he already suspects something to begin with. “You know, if you have something to tell me, you don’t have to be afraid. No one is going to punish you for speaking up.”

Just as Kara begins to pull her gaze away from the pair of men in the distance, Calais turns his head in her direction and she hopes he doesn’t realize she’s talking with a cop. Kara wishes her hair was decent enough to come out of her hair clip so she could hide behind it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Detective.” She’s not admitting to anything, because she doesn’t care and she knows a losing battle when she sees one. Why can’t Ray? Obviously, he’s heard something or another about Havenwood-Calais to be looking at him that way.

Ray looks disappointed at her switch from his name. “Hey. I’m not trying to grill you. I’m just…trying to help.”

“Really? It sounds like you are trying to help your case,” Kara says with bitterness.

He raises both hands up in surrender, trying to calm the rising irritation he sees in her dark eyes. “I’ll not bring it up again. But, just know that I’m around if you need help. That’s all. I’m on your side.”

Getting to her feet, Kara mutters under her breath, “No one is on my side.”

As the session for the day comes to a close, Derrick asks Kara to stay back and talk to him.

He’s frowning, the creases beside his eyes deepening. Kara feels something inside of her sink, already feels worse than she did earlier. “How do you think today went, Kara?”

Ah. The famous question that books no room for dishonesty. There is no sense in even blaming feeling under the weather. That won’t gain her any points with him. Though her insides shrivel, Kara holds his serious gaze. “Not so good, Mr. Benson. I’m sorry. It was my fault.”

“It was disappointing, Kara. I expect better from you. Gale has always spoken highly of you to me.” Sighing, Derrick firms his lips into a straight line. “Let’s do better tomorrow. It’s a shorter day in court; we need to have a goal and be precise. Come back sharp. We have a short reprieve on Thursday; the defense asked for a delay and the judge granted it. Call the Private Investigator when you have the time.”

She nods her understanding. She won’t make the same mistake twice. She let herself get out of control the night before and she paid for it dearly. Kara only hopes her career reputation isn’t eternally damaged by it.

Reputation is everything. That’s what her father always said, anyway.

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