Page 24 of Beneath Southern Stars

She was gone.

My mind filled with every terrifying scenario imaginable. Each second that ticked felt like an eternity. My daughter was nowhere to be found. Words failed me. I couldn’t shout her name or ask for help. I needed to find her. Make sure she was safe. Unharmed.

Except, in a sea of people celebrating the kick-off to the holiday season, it was impossible to spot her. I pushed throughthe crowd, mindful enough to apologize for intruding but with the ringing in my ears as my blood pressure skyrocketed, I couldn’t tell you if anyone acknowledged me.

Then I hear Laney’s voice. Her laugh.

A hand lands on my arm and I stop, turning quickly to jerk my arm back when Mattie smiles. “Hey man, Laney has Pepper.”

My eyes lift to the stage, catching Laney’s attention. I’m sure if I sat with that feeling for about a day, I could articulate the feeling that comes over me. Or better yet, feelings. Relief that Pepper is safe. Frustration that she took off in the first place. Gratefulness to the woman holding her and speaking to the crowd. My instinct is to rush the stage, steal my daughter from her arms, and then warp my arms around Laney, thanking her for helping my baby.

Instead, I let Mattie lead me through the crowd to a group of people standing at the foot of the steps to the stage. Honey greets me with a hug and a gentle pat to my arm. Her eyes are full of empathy and I’m sure everyone in a ten-foot radius can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Nobody else speaks to me but a few offer smiles or chin lifts in acknowledgement. If these are Laney and Honey’s friends, I can only assume they all know who I am. A fact that doesn’t trip any apprehension in my gut. We all give our attention to Laney with Pepper in her arms. I can hear the nerves in the way her voice hitches slightly but when she looks down at my daughter, she seems to relax. How have these two formed such a bond in so few days?

Both of my girls—not mine. Laney isn’t mine. That’s a thought I’ll process at a later time. With a giggle, Laney leans over to push the button to light the tree. I can’t be sure from this angle, but I swear Pepper’s lips are moving as she stares at the Christmas tree.

It isn’t long before Laney finishes her speech and they’re leaving the stage. I watch as she gently sets Pepper on her feet, my daughter looking up at her with pure adoration.

“Violet Joy, don’t you ever run off like that again.”

Pepper drops her head. I rarely get frustrated with her and I don’t think I’ve ever used such a tone, so I’m not surprised when she doesn’t look at me. While I don’t think she knows how stressful her taking off was for me, I need her to know it is not okay. What if we weren’t in Magnolia Grove? What if someone had taken her? What if she’d been hit by a car? So many what ifs fill my mind.

“Who’s Violet Joy?”

The question catches my attention and overshadows the doomsday thoughts I’m having. Confused at first, I look down at my daughter, her hand nestled in Laney’s and eyes looking up at the woman like she has two heads. A chuckle escapes, surprising me in the moment and it isn’t long before I’m in a full belly laugh.

“Are you laughing at me? I thought we’d moved past the rudeness?”

I try to hold in the laugh, biting the inside of my mouth as I take a deep breath. Once I have most of it under control, I say, “I’m not laughing at you. Sorry. It’s just, this has been the longest...” I pause and look at my watch. Is that right? “Uh, about five minutes of my life. Wow, it felt a lot longer.”

Laney motions me to follow her. Before I take a step, I scoop Pepper into my arms,

breathing in her strawberry shampoo smell and whispering how much I love her and that she scared me. We stop behind a large Welcome to the Holly Jolly Jubilee sign and Laney turns back to me, hands resting on her hips and lips pursed.

“This little girl is Miss Violet Joy Miller,” I remark as I pull Pepper close to me again. She squirms and giggles a little when I poke her side.

“Ooookay.”

“Pepper is a nickname. Sorry, I kind of forget sometimes. She’s just our little Pepper, huh?” I ask, tickling my daughter, a string of giggles flowing freely from her.

“Daddy! Stop!”

Whether it’s me, Laney, or both of us there’s an intake of breath, almost a gasp. Something else for me to address later. A few people mill behind the scenes, asking Laney questions. I stand by awkwardly, not sure if I should excuse myself or wait for her to come back. She’s working and probably doesn’t have time for us. Then Pepper rests her head on my shoulder, a yawn quickly follows.

“Ready to go kiddo?”

She shakes her head no but yawns again. The woman Laney is speaking with looks my way, smiles, and then leans in to say something. My neighbor giggles and pushes gently on the woman’s arm. When she turns to walk toward us, I note the slight blush on her cheeks.

“Friend of yours?” I tease.

The blush deepens and while I don’t know what was said, I have a feeling it had something to do with me. I’m man enough to admit I don’t mind being part of that kind of gossip so long as it pertains to Laney.

“Yeah, my friend Ana. She’s supervising the closing shift tonight, so we were just checking in.” Laney fidgets, adjusting the hem of her shirt. It’s adorable and while I want to talk to her about our kiss, I won’t have that discussion in front of my daughter.

“Are you done for the night?”

Her eyes flick to mine and then anywhere else. Why is she so nervous? Of course we have things to discuss, but this seems awkward.

“Oh, yeah. Uh... I was going to see if you were staying longer or?—”

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