Page 38 of Bourbon & Bonfires

“Wolf?” I ask.

“Yeah, Army nickname. His eyes are, were. Shit.Werethis weird gold color. Like a wolf. Kind of stuck.”

“Got it. Don’t worry about Addy, I’m actually heading to her house now. Mason texted me that she’s upset. What about you? Are you going to be okay?”

“Not really. I called Ash and asked her to help me out. I need to leave town for a while. Go help out Henry’s wife. She’s pregnant, man. God this fucking sucks. He survived three deployments only to get hit by a drunk driver on the way to get his wife ice cream. I’ll never understand this.”

“Life sucks sometimes. I’m sorry for your loss. Go handle your business. I’ll take care of Addy.”

I turn to open the door as Taylor says my name. I pivot to face him and he’s standing with his hand extended. I step forward and take the offered hand and shake.

“Thank you for taking care of them. I feel better leaving town. But,” he begins but never releases my hand, instead he squeezes it. Hard. “Rest assured, I will fuck you up if you screw my sister over.”

“Noted. But you have nothing to worry about. If anything, I’m the one taking the risk here.”

On that note, I open the door and walk into the hallway. Instead of walking toward the bar and through the crowd, I sneak out the back door to my truck. A million thoughts run through my mind as I drive the short distance through town to Addison’s house. I hate that she is suffering such a horrible loss. Death is never easy, but something unexpected and so tragic—a man with a new family. It just seems more upsetting.

I look at the clock and see it’s around the time Addison usually fixes dinner for Mason and her. I pull off into the local burger joint and grab a few burgers, fries, and shakes then continuing on to their house. I’m grateful Mason thought to text me. That makes me think he’s adjusting okay to my seeing his mom. But, it also means he trusts me, and that makes me feel good.

Once I’ve pulled up in front of the house, I grab the bags of food and shakes and walk to the front door. Balancing the food and tray of drinks with one hand, I open the door with the other and let myself in. I spot Mason on the couch watching Sports Center. He must not hear me walk in because he doesn’t move. Another reason I need to talk to them about locking their doors. Anyone could’ve walked in here.

“Hey,” I say in greeting, standing above Mason. He jumps and I laugh at his face.

“Dang, man. You scared me. Whatcha got there?” he asks, sniffing like a dog.

Rolling my eyes, I thrust the bag in his direction. “Dinner. Go put this in the kitchen and make yourself a plate. Did you do your homework?” I ask, and he nods while taking the tray from my hands. “After you finish dinner, get your shower and shit done before bed.”

“Okay. Do you know what’s wrong with my mom? I haven’t seen her cry like this since my dad left. I wasn’t sure if you guys broke up, so I almost didn’t text you. But she’s so sad, Lan. I’m scared.”

“Ah, bud,” I begin before taking the food and tray from his hands and setting them on the table next to the couch. I stand in front of him and place a hand on either shoulder. “Your mom and I are fine. But even if something were to happen, I’m always here foryou. Never forget that, okay?”

He simply nods, and I pull him into a quick hug. When the hug begins to linger a little too long and the tension in the room builds, I break the ice the only way I know how. “This is getting awkward, isn’t it?”

Mason and I both laugh before stepping apart. I hand him the tray and bag of food again before heading toward the back patio off the kitchen. As I approach the back door, I hear sniffles. A piece of my heart breaks for what Addison is going through. I hope she’ll let me in, let me care for her and help her. I pause before opening the door, grab a blanket that’s folded on the dryer, and step outside.

When I’m within a few steps of where she lies on the lounger, I take in the bottle of bourbon on the table and the glass in her hand. I remember when she bought that bottle. I’ve been with her anytime she’s had a glass. By the looks of what’s left in the bottle, she’s chosen to drown her sorrows.

“Baby,” I say quietly so as to not startle her. Her reply to me isn’t in words but sobs. She breaks down and I rush to her, kneeling before her. The emptiness in her eyes breaks me into a million pieces. Sadness blankets every inch of her face. I take the tumbler from her hands and set it on the table before scooping her in my arms and assuming the spot she was just in. Settled into my lap, she grips my shirt and cries.

We sit tangled together for what feels like minutes and hours simultaneously. The intensity of Addison’s loss kills me. She stops sobbing, and her cries are more whimpers than anything. I reach above my head where the blanket ended up and pull it over her as her breathing slows. I’m sure she’s exhausted, and I’m content to sit and hold her.

I take in the stars above and think of how when I was little, I asked my mom what the stars were. She told me they were angels and there to remind those of us who have lost someone that our loved ones are never far from us. I remember lying on the grass and talking to the stars when I was little. Asking them who they used to be and if they had family in Lexington. I believed the stars were only ours and each town or city had their own. I was five.

Now as I look at the sky filled with small white dots, I wish that story were true. I wish for Addison and Taylor, and the woman who lost her husband, that somewhere above us was Henry’s star, and he could see how many lives he touched and how many people loved him. I didn’t know Henry, but the woman in my arms, the woman I’m falling in love with, did, and her heart hurts for the loss of the man. By default, mine does the same.

“Landon,” Mason whispers behind me.

“Hey buddy, are you going to bed?”

“Not yet, it’s only nine. Is my mom okay?”

I realize nobody has told Mason what’s happening. The worry on his face tells me I need to be the one to tell him, or his imagination is going to run crazy. I nod for him to go back inside, and he does as I ask. Turning my feet, I slide Addison around to hold her a little closer and stand from the lounger to carry her inside. Mason opens the door for me and I mouth “Thank you” before walking down the hall to Addison’s room. Once I lay her down, she stirs a little. Covering her with the blanket, I lean down and kiss her head.

“Landon?”

“It’s okay, baby. Sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

She sighs and snuggles into her pillow. Stepping out of the room, I close her door but not all the way in case she starts crying again. Before going to the living room, I stop in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I see the makeup that rubbed off on my shirt and the tear stains. God, how long was she out there before Mason text me?

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