Page 47 of The County Fair Queen

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," I said, scowling. "Shut up and eat your damn waffle."

Over breakfast, Rivers filled me in on the ins and outs of mayoral life, though I hadn't requested a play-by-play. I'd feigned interest for the most part, but around the forty-minutemark of his lore lesson on Tallulah's city council, I simply couldn't take it anymore. I laid my napkin on top of my plate, telling him I'd rather walk into oncoming traffic than sit through a lecture. As I rushed toward the street—Brenda/Carole & Co. following quickly behind—he trailed after me, still harping on about local government. There was a playful tone in his voice, like he was hellbent on annoying me, simply for the thrill of it all. Feeling just as light and frisky as he seemed to be, I crossed the red brick road, rushing away from him. It was like we were playing the stupidest game of cat and mouse of all time. I made it across the street unscathed, but he hadn't let time or distance stop him from his spiel. By the time I reached the door to Foote's Feet, he was already droning on about Mr. Sanchez, a sixty-year-old virgin on the city council who'd just met the woman of his dreams at a Pia Zadora concert.

I'd only made it two steps into Foote's Feet when Evelyn raced in from the back office holding a broom over her head, shouting "Justice for Vivian!" at the top of her lungs. She looked like she was ready to bash my skull in as retribution for her dismembered paper mache pump. Rivers got to me first, pulling me out of the store and out of Evelyn's line of fire.

Back on the sidewalk, he let go of my wrist long enough to scratch the back of his neck, and then there he went again, reaching for me like I was his for the taking. This time, he didn't grab my wrist. His hand snaked around my midsection. He whirled me around until my back was against his chest, and he lifted me off the ground. I kicked my feet in front of me, cackling like a maniac as he burrowed his whiskers into my neck to tickle me. Ahead of us, Brenda/Carole was observing us intently with just the slightest hint of a smile.

"I swear to God, Riv, if you don't put me down!"

"Oh, yeah?" he huffed, his voice raw and rugged. "What’ll you do if I don't?" Rather than give me the chance to respond, hepressed his chin even deeper into my nape. He continued his vicious tickle torture as people passed by, amused at the sight of two grown men behaving like toddlers.

Minnie stepped out of her diner, two doors away from us. I waved my hand frantically, unable to take much more of his abuse. She pulled a cigarette out of a bejeweled silver case and arched an eyebrow at me as she lit it. Exhaling, she gave me a polite wave, and the briefest glimpse of a smile.

"You two are precious," she shouted loud enough for the whole town to hear.

"It's not precious," I said, tears flowing as I did my best to hold back the cackle rising in my throat. "It's assault. Call the police."

"Say something seductive," Brenda/Carole shouted to Rivers.

He paused, probably constructing a set of words meant to humiliate me. "Oh, there's something I want to assault alright, baby." He thrust his hips forward, and though he wasn't erect, there was a familiar swelling down there, just below the equator.

"Good God, Rivers, you're unhinged. Put that thing away before you hurt someone."

"Don't plan on hurting you," he said, replacing his whiskers against my neck with his lips and offering me a warm, sloppy kiss. "Well, it might hurt a little at first, but I promise I'll be gentle." Another kiss. "I'll try to be, at least."

Eventually, he set me down, but he didn't let me go. His grip tightened around my waist, his breath dancing against my cheek as he whispered, "Jesus, Phillip," into my ear. "You have no idea what you do to me."

Christ on the crucifix. Hallowed be Rivers Rivera's name.

I needed a moment, because this was becoming a bit much. My heart wasn't used to beating so fast, so frequently. Since we'd agreed to this little charade, it was like the poor little muscle was running on overdrive. I would have time to rest when I got home in…

A chill ran through me when I realized this would all be ending soon. I had less than four days left. Four days until I hopped on a plane and left Rivers and Tallulah far behind. Now, my heart felt like someone had ripped it out of my chest and set it on fire.

"What?" Rivers whispered. "Where'd you just go?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"Your whole body just went stiff. What's wrong?"

I couldn't even describe the feeling to myself, much less him. All I knew was my chest ached. A deep, bitter pang I didn't care for in the slightest. Needing a moment to process these new emotions, I shoved his hands away from my midsection and took a few steps forward before pausing. I didn't know where I wanted to go, but I knew it wasn't where I was. It wasn't on that simple section of sidewalk, where life felt full of possibility seconds prior. Not next to the man who'd made me feel as if I was walking on air. I trudged forward, trying to collect my scattered thoughts. I led him aimlessly around the city square, my hand locked in his, mumbling incoherently to myself. We got a few glances from others wandering the square, but none of them seemed unkind. It was strange, really. As a teenager, I never could have imagined residents of Tallulah barely batting an eye at two men holding hands. Now, it seemed like people were actually cheering us on.

Brenda/Carole was probably somewhere close behind, cursing me for leading them on a town square walkabout, but I didn't feel like looking for her. I needed a moment. A chance to reconcile whatever these feelings floating around inside me were, and what they meant. We were being friendly. More than friendly. Rivers and I were behaving like two teenagers suffering from a ridiculous affliction of puppy love.

When we passed Foote's Feet a second time, I realized I'd led us in a giant square. Rivers snickered at my side, fully aware that I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

"You feeling a little lost, Firecracker?"

He didn't know the half of it.

"I know where I'm going," I said, nervously darting my eyes around our surroundings, hoping for divine intervention. Ahead of us, there was the dojo. The last thing I wanted to do was spar with Rivers. I'd never been in a fight in my life, and with my luck, I'd just wind up with a broken nose and a handful of shattered dreams.

Past the dojo was a tax attorney's office that I had no use for. Next to it, Banners by Bart. Two doors down, there was an equally unhelpful bait and tackle shop, but when I saw the sign next to it, I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Yoga by Eulah,the sign said.

Rivers, being the masculine jock that he was, had probably never so much as heard of downward dog, much less practiced it. I was certain if I could just get to the door, he'd turn away in repulsion, claiming"no real man practices yoga."

Rivers chuckled softly to himself and eyed me up and down like I was the most fascinating individual in the world. "You do yoga?"

---