Page 14 of The County Fair Queen

Etched into my baseboard were four initials, divided by an unbroken heart. A heart that, at one time, had hoped it might one day belong to a boy with matching names. The owner of two dimples I'd spent hours memorizing when I should have been focusing on my schoolwork. My county fair king. There was an old sweater hanging on my bedpost, and I casually tossed it beside Jordan, covering up the regrets of my youth. Despite what the younger version of me may have thought at the time,P.F.did not, in fact,heart R.R.

I fumbled with my jeans, carelessly hopping around the room as I tried to unwedge my ankle from the fabric. Once they were off, I tossed my shirt into the wicker basket by my closet door.

"Phillip?"

"What's up?" I grabbed a pair of purple sleep shorts from my suitcase and slid into them. There was a tube of overnight cream in my bag. It didn't do much to erase my crinkles(not wrinkles), but it stopped them from spreading. The salve was cool to the touch, and as I dabbed it under my eye, the familiar scent of sandalwood and rose filled the air in front of me.

"Did you reinstall that hookup app?"

"I have no desire to sleep with anyone in this town."

"Well, it says there's someone online. They're less than ten feet away. The servers must be malfunctioning. The picture is just a headless torso." He stared at his phone, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and giving it a nibble. "And what a headless torso it is. Good God, Almighty."

"That's probably just Preston. Or Aunt Lurlene catfishing men on my behalf again." I'd need to have another come-to-Jesus with her, if that was the case. I'd specifically instructed her against doing so at least twenty times.

"Why would your father be on a gay hookup app?"

I stared at him through the mirror, furrowing my brow. "He's gay. We've discussed this."

Jordan bolted upright in the beanbag. "We most certainly have not."

"He doesn't wear his heart on a rainbow-colored sleeve like us, but yeah."

"But he has a son. He must've slept with a woman before."

"Actually, you'll find that I was a test tube baby. His best friend in college. She and her husband had fertility issues. My father was just supposed to be Uncle Preston."

"I thought you said he raised you with Grandmama Lurlene?"

Using my big toe, I pried my sock off and kicked it into the air, toward the basket. Hole in one. "I lived with John and Janna at first. I was with them for a year before they were killed by a drunk driver."

"Jesus. I'm sorry, Phillip."

I shrugged. "I don't remember them. Aunt Lurlene was the only real parental figure I had."

"What about your dad?"

"I didn't meet him until I was six. After college he moved out to Dallas, trying to be a country singer."

"He sings?" Jordan's eyes widened, and I could already see a sheen of awe glossing over them.

"Don't. Whatever you're thinking, just don't."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lies. You've got that same look in your eyes you had when you tried to sign me up for Celebrity Sudoku."

"I still don't know why you turned them down. It was a great opportunity."

"It was a television program where z-list celebrities sat silently in a room and played sudoku. It didn't even last an entire episode. They canceled it during the first commercial break."

"It was still more camera time than you've had this last decade. You can't blame me for trying to keep your name relevant. And stop changing the subject. He sings?"

"Jesus on the cross." I slipped under the covers and pulled them up past my head. "Don't ask him to sing. I'm not using this show to propel my father to stardom at my expense. Not happening."

"I bet you'd let Rivers serenade you."

"Going to sleep now." With my face pressed into the pillow, I lifted my arm in the air and duck-billed my thumb against my index finger. "Shut that mouth." I thought, stupidly, that this would be the end of it. Instead, my mattress dipped, and he slid behind me, pulling me against him. "I'm not fucking you in my childhood bed, Jordan."

---