Oh, God.

"Rivers, I…" I tried to speak. Really, I did. The words were there. Hell, they'd been there for the better part of a week.

Yes.

It was just one fucking word. Why couldn't I say it?

What was waiting for me back home? A series of life-threatening dates with disastrous and dangerous men? A cold, lonely bed that was only ever warmed by my unpaid intern?

But what Rivers was offering me—this fast-track shot at a relationship—was only two weeks in the making. Moving countries, working toward a future with a man I hardly knew, that was madness. It was actual muscadine madness.

Yes.

One syllable held the power to turn my entire world around. To set the sky on fire, burning the Earth's axis to dust, and sending me free-falling into space without hope of rescue. I wanted to say it. I wanted to say the word so badly that it felt like it was crawling up my throat.

So, when I couldn't control my voice, I busied my mouth by kissing the top of his head. I hooked my finger beneath his chin and tugged until he was staring at me. The tears on his cheek had no business residing there, so I leaned in and kissed them away, wishing it could somehow remove the pain he was feeling as well.

"I want you to fuck me, Rivers," I whispered.

He sniffled, and the sound of it shattered my already-cracking heart. With a nod, he attempted a smile, but between the hurt in his eyes and the way his jaw was trembling, he just looked like he was about to have a seizure.

"I can do that," he said, kissing me right between the eyes. "I'd like that."

There was a small bottle of lube in the nightstand, and as I reached for it, Rivers took advantage of the moment, grabbing me by the back of my neck and guiding me to his mouth. We kissed for what seemed like hours, our cocks rubbing together until the only sounds in the room were our frenzied moans and scattered breaths. He slid his hand down my back, his fingers grazing up and down my crack.

"I want to try something."

I arch an eyebrow at him. "And what might that be?"

He winked at me. "Can't spoil the surprise, Firecracker." And then, giving me no chance to react, Rivers grabbed me by the ankles, pushing my legs up until my thighs touched my chest. In seconds, he was between my legs, sucking my balls. His finger traced my entrance, occasionally applying enough pressure that I thought he would attempt to break the rim.

I reached for the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube from the drawer. "Riv?"

He pulled off my balls long enough to look up at me. "Yeah?"

"You look beautiful between my legs. I mean, you look beautiful all the time, but right now?" I let out a lurid whimperwhen he sucked the head of my cock like he was nursing on it. "Fucking perfection."

He leaned in and licked my balls as if he was trying to drive the point home. His tongue didn't stop at my sack, however. When he reached the tender spot between my balls and my shaft, he continued, shelling his tongue around the underside of my cock, not breaking eye contact as he worked his way up. At the tip, a bead of pre-cum stood proudly, and the moment it touched his tongue, fire flashed in his eyes. He gave me no chance to prepare for the warmth of his mouth. He just dove all the way to my base, gagging violently around my dick. I tried to pull out, but he sucked, hollowing his cheeks until his mouth was molded perfectly around me. I tried again, but the bastard growled at me like a rabid dog.

"My god. Are you sure you've never sucked dick before? Because you're kind of a pro."

He grabbed the lube out of my hand and popped the cap. I wasn't sure how he coated his fingers in lube without removing my cock from his mouth, but he managed to do so with ease. I writhed beneath him as he teased my hole, the slick sensation of cold lube causing me to tremble.

He pulled off my dick and stared down at his finger. At first, I worried he was regretting this. That something had snapped inside of him and he realized his attempt at bisexuality had simply been unsuccessful and unrewarding.

I didn't want this to end.

I never wanted it to end.

The thought of Rivers realizing he no longer wanted this pierced my heart. It was an unbearable ache that had no business residing inside of me. I opened my mouth to ask if he was alright, but he placed his finger over my lips like he knew what I was going to say.

"It's not you. It's just… I don't know what I'm doing," he said, his voice small and cracked with nerves. "How do I make this good for you?"

"It's already been perfect." I wrapped my hand around my cock and gave it a stroke, pulling his attention back to me. "But you want to start with one finger. I'll let you know when I'm ready for another."

"How many fingers are we aiming for?"

"Normally, I'd say three, but with that goddamn mammoth cock of yours, best we aim for four, yeah?"