Page 101 of About Love and Revenge

For example, he hasn’t told me what he was doing in Greece thesecond time he went there. I only got confirmation of Orien's death from Theo. Odin never brought it up again, though I tried to ask about it.

God, just thinking that the place where I was born is the same place where a young man of my brother's age lost his life . . . It makes me want to throw up.

I understand it must be difficult to talk about that horrible story. It's almost unbearable for me, who's not even his relative, but that's no reason for Odin to keep me in the dark.

He also only told me last week that Aristeu had died. He totally leaves me out of everything that’s not specifically related to our relationship.

Since we've been back in New York, he hasn't directly asked me again about my decision to take our relationship to the next level, but he demonstrates in small ways that he wants it.

It's tempting, I confess, but I'm afraid of buying into an illusion and then, in the end, him realizing he can't stand being with me because I'm the daughter of the man he hates.

Odin said he knows I’m not Leandros, but I think it's my last name that prevents him from sharing everything with me.

I don’t know what to do.

I'm honest enough to admit that what I feel for him isn't just physical attraction. How could it be when he seems to work so hard to win my heart?

It's not in his declarations of love or anything like that but in the details. Small gestures that give me the feeling of having found something precious and unique. The hours of reading we spend together. Our fights and laughter and the way he can't seem to take his hands off me.

I'm definitely in trouble because every day my feelings for him continue to grow.

Inside the car, on the way to his office, my head doesn't stop for a minute as the driver navigates the streets of Manhattan. Should I reveal more of myself as a sign of trust? I expect him to share his story with me, but at the same time I give him very little in return. I'm closed off, even with Zoe. No one but myparents know the worst of my secrets. Neither do Theo or my sisters.

Maybe Zoe is right. It's ridiculous of me to demand trust when I don't give the same in return.

We’ve started talking every day on the phone, and now I can say that we are real friends.

She’s made an appointment for me with a speech therapist for the day before the masquerade ball. I'm terrified. What if he says there is no treatment for my condition? That I don't have dyslexia and that I'm just really dumb, like my dad always said?

All my life, he convinced me of this. He said that I was flawed and that I would never be able to learn.

Regarding the latter, however, I can guarantee that he was wrong. I've learned a lot throughout my life and especially since I came to live in New York.

At first, I was very afraid of not being able to organize a party worthy of Odin's name and fortune, but now I think it'll be a success. We've already sold all the available invitations, and we have a long waiting list for possible cancellations.

After I insisted, Odin took me to visit the institution to which the donation will go, and I couldn't sleep that night—both because I was impressed by the strength of those people to carry on, even though they were in pain, and because I imagined Odin, still small, an orphan, and recovering from the burns on his back.

He never told me with whom he stayed after surviving the fire, but I imagine it was a relative.

Was my father really responsible for that tragedy?

Odin said his mother was a traitor, and now I wonder if she was involved with Leandros. It was never a secret in our household that he had several mistresses. He flirted with women at our parties in plain sight, and my mother looked the other way, pretending not to notice.

But then killing his lover and her husband? I do think that even for him that seems to be a little too much.

Then I remember Orien. If what Theo said is true, my father was responsible for the boy's death.

I don't know how a murderer's mind works, because to me, if hekilled Orien, that's what he is, whether he pulled the trigger or not. I think whoever ends the life of an innocent person has no conscience, and maybe that means he's done the same thing before.

God, that's a lot to process.

If that's true, how can Odin look at me every day knowing that I have Leandros's blood running through my veins?

That’s enough! If I keep pushing myself to unravel all the mysteries surrounding my boyfriend, I’ll go nuts.

Should I talk to Theo about it?

He's been calling me once a week, and little by little we're closing the emotional distance between us. My sisters, however, haven’t contacted me.

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