Page 5 of The Cleaner

“She’s catatonic, Tanya,” Dad snaps. “This isn’t her fault. Her mam’s just died.”

“Yeah, and had you been man enough, your daughter wouldn’t have been the one to find her. Instead, you’re too lenient on her. You allowed her to disrespect not only you, but me, and you let her tell you that she wasn’t coming here.”

“Enough,” Dad roars, his voice trembling with anger. “Enough. I’m calling the doctor. She needs help.”

I continue to stare up at the ceiling. The numbness I’ve been feeling has intensified into a fog that seems to blanket me entirely. I can't find the strength to even lift a finger and say something in my defense. Not that I would want to speak to either of them anyway. I just wish they’d leave me alone. I justwant to be left alone. I hear Dad leave my room, talking loudly on his cell as he does.

“Are you going crazy like your mam did?” Tanya asks with laughter in her voice. “I think you might be. It’s time for you to realise that you’re not the most important person in your father’s life. In fact, you wouldn’t be here right now had your mam not killed herself.”

God, I hate this woman. I have no idea what my dad sees in her. I really don’t.

“The world would be a better place without either you or your mam in it. You should really do something about that,” she taunts.

The sound of the bedroom door opening doesn’t faze me. Nothing does right now.

“Ben, she’s still the same. She hasn’t moved since she came up to bed last night. What did the doctor say?” Tanya asks. God, she’s good. She’s really good. This act she’s got going on would fool anyone. For a second there she actually sounded like she gave a fuck about me.

“He’s on his way. He feels as though she needs sleep. He’s hoping the sleeping pills he’ll prescribe will help her.”

Don’t they understand that nothing will help?

“Lisa,” I hear a deep voice say a while later, but I don’t answer. I can’t. I’m drowning and there’s no way out. “I’m James, a doctor. Can you turn to face me?”

I continue to gaze up at the ceiling.

“I understand that you’ve gone through something traumatic and you’re struggling. I have some sleeping pills here that’ll help you sleep. I want you to just take one. They’re strong and will put you to sleep almost right away. Can you do that for me?”

Hope blooms inside of me. If they’re that strong, will they take me away from here and let me see my ma again? I don’twant to be here if it means being around Dad and Tanya. I want my ma. I slowly nod my head.

“Okay, that’s good. I’ll leave the pills on the nightstand. I urge you to eat,” he says, his hand resting on my shoulder. “If she doesn’t change by morning after taking the pill, we may have to admit her.”

“Admit her where?” Dad asks, confusion evident in his voice.

“To a psychiatric facility,” the doctor says cautiously. “Will you follow me out?” he asks. “I’ll be able to give you more details. I’d rather not speak in front of Lisa.”

I hear the shuffling of their footsteps as they make their way out of my bedroom. They close the door behind them, and I feel relief. A sense of calmness washes over me as I sit up in the bed and reach for the bottle of sleeping pills. This is it. I can sleep and finally be rid of this numbness and pain.

I twist the cap off the bottle and let the pills fall into my hand. They're small white capsules that seem to hold the promise of escape. Without hesitation, I toss them into my mouth and swallow, before grabbing the glass of water and washing them down.

It takes a little longer than I had anticipated for them to kick in, but it's okay. I can wait.

I'm not sure how much time passes until the heaviness of sleep starts to settle over me like a comforting blanket wrapping me in darkness. As my eyelids grow heavy, I lie on the bed, closing my eyes in anticipation of the relief that awaits.

But as I drift into unconsciousness, a flicker of doubt crosses my mind.Is this really the answer?

I hear my bedroom door opening and my dad screaming at Tanya. I feel his hands on my body, shaking me. “Baby, please. No, baby, not you too. Please, Lisa, please don’t leave me.”

But it’s too late. The darkness claims me, and I can’t help but feel relief as it does.

Chapter

Three

MAVERICK

My gaze lingerson my sister's battered figure as I try to wrap my head around why she didn't tell me about this. I can see the purplish-blue marks marbling her skin, from her neck down to her legs. Her face is a criss-cross of bruises, one eye is swollen shut, and purple splotches cover her cheeks and jawline. Not a single feature remains untouched by the violence done to her.

We’re at our parents home, Callie’s seated on the armchair beside the fire, it’s always been the chair she uses whenever she’s home. It’s an oversized armchair that makes my sister look small, even more so today than usual.

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