Page 25 of The Cleaner

I wish I could find him. I wish I could track him down and kill him, make Devin never have to worry about him coming near him again.

"You're safe here, Dev. Orna and I will never let anything happen to you," I promise him. But tomorrow, I'll be having a conversation with Orna about Dev's school having that motherfucking creep in such close proximity that he actually spoke to him. That should never have happened, and until Orna has a guarantee that it won't happen again, Devin won't be going back. There's no way Orna would allow that to happen.

"I don't want to leave," he tells me, his voice losing some of the terror and fear that he had.

"You don't have to," I say. "This is your home." I pull him into a hug and press a soft kiss to his head. "Sleep, Dev. Tomorrow's a new day."

I hold him in my arms and rock him softly. In doing so, it brings back memories of my dad doing this to me when my ma died. I hate that I was so weak and vulnerable that I allowed him to fool me into trusting him. It didn't take long for him to dashevery last hope I had for him. I'm just glad that I never have to see him again or that bitch of a girlfriend of his. I just pray that Devin gets the same peace with his father. That he'll never have to deal with him again either.

"Is everything okay?"Clodagh questions. "You've been quiet all night."

We're currently sitting on the side of an old bridge. It's fairly secluded here. It's a place where both Clodagh and I always come to collect our thoughts when things are tough. Today, I needed to come here and just process everything. When I first met Clodagh, I used to unleash my anger by smashing shit and just being a general bitch. I'd lash out and let the anger consume me. Now, I tend to process it and work through it.

I release a long sigh. "Devin's going through a lot and I feel useless. I don't know how to help him."

The school apologized but claimed there was nothing they could do as it happened outside of the school grounds, and they told Orna that they weren't able to police what happens outside of school. I call bullshit as Devin assured us that he was still in school when it happened and that fucking bastard was talking to him through the fence. That's on school property, so why can't they do anything about it? It pisses me off that they're so fucking blasé about it. Thankfully, Orna lost her shit and pulled Devin from the school. She also put in complaints with the school board, the council, social services, and the police. That school is under investigation as it's considered a safeguarding incident, one in which they failed in. They have a duty of care with all students and they let Devin down.

"Is he okay?" she asks, watching me carefully.

I lift my shoulders and shrug. "He's not having nightmares, not that I know of, but he still lies in bed with me every night. His dad is back and it scares him."

I watch the anger seep into her features. "That motherfucker," she hisses. "How is he allowed back?"

Clodagh doesn't know everything about what Devin's been through. That's not something that I'd ever share with anyone. Devin trusted me with that and I'll never break that trust he has in me. But Clodagh saw Dev when he first came to live with us. She saw the bruises and the fear. She knows that he abused him physically and that's enough for her to be pissed on Dev's behalf.

"He's safe with us," I tell her, my voice filled with conviction.

"Girl, I know that," she says with a laugh. "I've seen you with a pool stick. Imagine what you'd be like with a baseball bat."

"Fuck that, a hurley stick would hurt more," I chuckle. "But that bastard comes near Devin, and I'll unleash my anger on him. Thankfully, Orna loves golfing. I'm pretty sure there's a five iron beside the door."

She shakes her head. "That asshole won't know what's hit him if he comes looking for that boy."

I pick up a stone and throw it into the water, my gaze focused as it skims across the waves. "How are you feeling?" I ask her. She rarely talks about that night at the party and I know she's still affected by it.

"I feel stupid. I know better than to do what I did. We didn't know anyone at that party. Honestly, Lis, if you weren't there, I don't know what would have happened. I just feel so stupid and idiotic for letting myself get into the situation in the first place."

I rest my head against her shoulder. "It was a lesson. A hard one but a lesson nonetheless. I think we've both realised that it's time to stop binge drinking and going to parties. I'm too old for this shite."

She laughs, just as I knew she would. "Old? Girl, we're almost seventeen."

I nod. "Right? And we've been doing it for the past three years. Others our age are just starting, and I can't be arsed with it to be honest."

"Okay, grandma," she laughs. "But I get it. It's exhausting having to be constantly aware of our surroundings. Constantly on edge."

She's right. We're both like that, and I have a feeling it's due to our past. I'm not sure if the feeling will ever go away. I sure as hell hope so, but I doubt it.

"Tammy's got me on a tight curfew," she sighs. "I need to regain her trust and have to be back by nine. Are you staying here a little longer or are you going to head home?" she asks as she rises to her feet, brushing dirt from her pants.

I hear a car pull up close by and ignore it. There's a main road just beyond the thick line of trees. It could be anyone, though there's rarely anyone who comes here. "I'm going to stay here for a while."

Orna and Devin had a night planned for themselves. I'm sure Devin's fast asleep by now, but I don't want to go home just yet. I'm still reeling from Devin's confession about his father, and I need to unleash the anger. I need to be alone for a while.

"Alright," she says. "Let me know when you get home."

I nod. "I will do," I assure her and watch as she leaves. It'll take her ten minutes to walk toward the nearest bus stop. Once she's away from this deserted place, there'll be enough lighting that she'll be safe. I continue to watch her walk away, not moving my gaze until she's no longer in view.

I throw more stones onto the river, watching as they skip along the water. It's soothing. I'm able to just be and let my mind wander, sifting through everything. Tears leak from my eyes as I replay Devin's words over and over again. That poor baby hasbeen hurt so horrendously that it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't understand why that animal was allowed to stay with Dev. Surely there would have been welfare checks on him. But the social workers are understaffed, and there are just so many families that fall between the cracks. Devin is safe now and he'll be able to heal as much as possible.

---