Page 34 of See It Through

Phoebe’s fingers paused in my hair. “Really? I was there when you were a teenager. You did some pretty embarrassing stuff.”

I moved my hands to glare up at her. Since my head was currently in her lap while she stroked my hair, it didn’t have much of an effect. Still, I was fragile, and she didn’t need to point out how much I’d made an ass of myself in the past.

“I came to you for comfort.”

“And I’d love to do that, Banana. But without knowing exactly what happened, I can’t properly tailor my comforting.”

I shifted my hands back over my eyes, unable to bear knowing I was being perceived, even by my sister.

“I gave Remington Town a ride home from Denver this afternoon.”

“I know. Caleb told me about his accident when he stopped by Sugar Rush. That was nice of you.” I huffed, and she carried on like I hadn’t made a sound. “By the way, I love how you say his full name like there’s another Remington I would mix him up with.”

“Please. Let me be formal about him to create some much-needed distance.”

“Hmmm, and why do you need distance from Remi?”

“Because…when I brought him home, I had some things to say to him about not telling me he’d had a TBI. I’d thrown a muffin at him, Phe.”

“You did? One of my muffins?”

“Yes, not that it matters.”

“Well, at least I know it was soft. Some of those grocery store muffins are like rocks.”

I groaned. “The point isn’t the muffin. The point is I threw things at him while he had a brain injury. I was also a mega-bitch to him about not getting here in time and needed to know why he’d let me. Do you know what he said?”

“What did he say?”

“He said he could tell I needed someone to be mad at and let himself be that person.”

She sighed. “That’s really sweet, actually.”

“I know,” I cried. “So that’s why I did the dumbest thing possible.”

“Did you punch him?”

“No, worse. I kissed him.”

“Oh,” she whispered. “Did he kiss you back?”

“He did, but it must have been an automatic, shocked reaction. Once he had his wits about him, he pushed me off and told me no.”

“Oh,” she repeated, softer this time. “Did he say anything else?”

“Just that we couldn’t do that while holding me as far away from himself as he could.” I pounded my forehead with the heel of my hand. “I’ve been so good about not giving in to my impulses, but I had all these big feelings about everything and all I could think about was kissing him. I should have left, but you know me. I don’t like to do the things I should, and now I’ve made a complete fool of myself.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad. You’re making it worse in your head.”

Phoebe knew me. She understood perceived slights and minor rejections had the potential to cut me deeply. While most people would have probably been embarrassed about throwing themselves at a man who wasn’t interested, they’d brush it off and move on, and here I was, contemplating how I could disappear into the ether so no one could see me again. I felt gross and undesirable, and worse, I’d pushed myself on Remi without his consent. Coming back from this seemed insurmountable.

“I’ll just never see him again. I’ll have Dell send him a letter telling him he can have the house.”

“Hannie, no. You love that house.” She grazed her knuckles across my forehead before gently knocking me there. “Remi is a nice guy. I’m sure he won’t hold the kiss against you. He probably won’t even bring it up.”

That did nothing to comfort me. I didn’t want Remington Town to be a nice guy. His being an asshole would have made all this so much easier.

“I’m going to disappear.”

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