Page 93 of A Seed Of Peril

I feverishly clawed at anyone and anything. “Make it stop!”

“Keep pushing,” Julie coached.

Knowing my only means of escape was to birth my son, I pushed hard and for as long as I could. She pulled. I pushed. When I watched Julie pull, it looked as if she was putting her all into it, and I certainly felt it. My vaginal walls stretched and opened so far, I worried I might rip open.

The saying was true; to push out a baby was like pushing a watermelon out of something with the opening the size of a lemon.

So many weird cries, screams, and guttural, animalistic noises escaped me through it all. I pushed. I grunted. I blew and panted and yanked down on Dominic’s tie. His blue eyes were doleful. His face fell. A hint of tears lined his eyes. It actually enraged me. It made me feel as if he were checking out on me.

“I wish I could take it all away,” he professed in a hushed tone, like each word killed a piece of him as he said them. “I’m sorry, my love.”

“Don’t youfuckingcheck out on me now,” I grunted, gritting my teeth and practically smashing his face into mine. As I tugged and clung to him mid-push, I reached for Amy in a panic. “OH, MY GOD!” I violently arched my back as a ripping sensation spread down my vagina with an explosion akin to fire.

I shook, sweaty. I wanted to vomit again. The pain was indescribable. I started to lose control.

“Push again, Lilith,” Julie told me.

I was too worn down. In fact, something happened as I began to push again. Grabbing Dominic and the nurse on my left, I rolled my head straight back against the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. I honestly felt like my spirit was leaving my body. Time had no meaning anymore. I just wanted to escape. Part of me seemed to float above as I worked hard to birth my son. My thoughts seemed to float away right along with my spirit. My control left until a searing, burning sensation struck me down below. My tissues stretched further to accommodate Vincenzo’s head.

It was as if this nightmare would never end. Like I was falling into hell and coming back into reality over and over again.

Giving birth to our son was supposed to be sweet and memorable. It wasn’t supposed to go this way.

“What’s happening!?” I screamed as Julie tirelessly pulled. To push at this point was like having a hot boulder fall on me and melt right through my flesh. If Vincenzo wasn’t born soon, I might pass out.

“I have to cut,” Julie announced. “His head is too large. Just hang in there for us. You’re almost done, I promise.” Her pity was unmistakable.

I just cried in absolute defeat. Sweat dripped down every crevice, every crack, every fold. It soaked my hair and made it stick to the back of my neck.

I can’t do this, I thought as I squirmed and fought.I’m too weak. Oh, Vincenzo, you’re lucky I love you so much. Oh, dear Lord, help me. Please, God… Give me the strength to get through this. Give me the strength to push.

I turned to Dominic for guidance and words and support, but he stood there in a daze. He watched Nurse Barton, lost with tears in his eyes. He was bleak, dejected, and crestfallen. Guilt consumed him.

I grabbed his sleeve and yanked with all my might, almost knocking him off his feet. I pulled him in close. “Don’t you fucking wimp out on me now!” His eyes went wide. “Youdid this to me;you’regonna help me!” I threw myself backward, screaming as Julie cut me again, still hanging onto Dominic.

More warmth gushed between my legs. It was thinner, runnier.

“Give me another push, Lilith,” Julie instructed.

I once again found myself leaving my own body as I bore down. Voices all sounded off at once as I mindlessly let go of my support systems and tried to crawl up the bed. I didn’t want to be in this body anymore. I climbed further, looking for a way out due to the sheer intensity, but I couldn’t. I experienced what I read to be the ring-of-fire. With a powerful contraction and a push, I moaned loud and felt my eyes bug out of my head. A wicked sensation of fire and pressure shot through my vagina, some much needed relief right behind it. I didn’t know if I was losing my mind, but I just watched in a haze as Dominic and the nurses helped me scoot me back down into position.

Only then did it dawn on me that I just pushed out Vincenzo’s head.

“Catch your breath,” Amy advised me, brushing her fingers along the side of my face and doing her best to calm me. Julie suctioned out Vincenzo’s nose and mouth quickly, passing something that I couldn’t make out to another nurse.

I winced when Julie moved the baby somehow, almost like she turned him.

“Alright, Lilith,” Julie said. “You need to push and push hard. We need to get him out.”

“Will you just tell us what the fuck is going on!?” Dominic snapped, and everyone went still and quiet.

“I suspect her uterus has ruptured, which is dangerous for both Lilith and your son. If we don’t get him out now, there’s a chance one or both of them won’t survive.”

“Then cut her open!” Dominic shouted, riddled with worry and fear.

Julie remained calm. “It’s too late. By the time I cut into Lilith, her uterus could rupture entirely and, well… We’re going to have to rely on a little faith for this but mostly Lilith.”

Dominic quickly leaned in close, his eyes and face deadpan.

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