Page 21 of A Seed Of Peril

If only I had listened.

My self-scolding was on a loop since I got home.

It was my fault.

Katrina’s day was ruined because of me.

What if he attacked me? What if he tried to hurt my son? I should’ve fucking listened to Sonny. Security knew best. Always. Why was I so fucking selfish?

The warm bath Dominic drew for me after dinner helped ease more of my nerves. He rubbed the sponge against my back, cleaning me.

“Talk to me,” he coaxed. He lathered more of my strawberry body wash—his favorite of mine—into the loofah sponge. “Please.”

I went quiet after telling Dominic what happened at the thrift shop, isolating myself in our bedroom. It wasn’t as if he was angry because he wasn’t.

When he got wind of what happened, he’d hardly left my side. It affected him far greater than he let on. He ordered Katrina and me to stay inside for the rest of the day with extra security situated around the premises. I saw glimpses of his anger and frustration for his family while digging into the incident, at one time shouting the F-word and going on about the strange man being able to be in society. Dominic made countless phone calls and combed through security footage, just recently catching me up on his findings. He told me he didn’t want me in the loop until he knew with absolute certainty that me and Katrina, as well as everyone else, were safe.

It wasn’t just the guilt keeping me quiet… I was scared. That guy could’ve just been disturbed, or maybe he was under the influence of something, or maybe he was indeed just a creeper, but my gut said it wasn’t random. I couldn’t explain it. I had encountered enough perilous bullshit to be disbelieving of the idea that this wasn’t a new seed planted for a new threat around the corner. What they found, or lack thereof, on the stranger wasn’t otherwise convincing.

His name was Wyatt James. He was a drifter within Bergen County. Homeless. The police were aware of him, but because of incidents where he leered and lingered or him running off after attacking his victims, they couldn’t nail him, and it also meant he hadn’t been medically evaluated. That was the law for you.

Sonny confronted Wyatt, but his hands were tied on what and how much he could’ve done. He couldn’t create a scene. If Wyatt had hurt me, then it would’ve been fair game, but even though our family had law enforcement in our pockets, they wouldn’t hesitate to hang us out to dry if it benefited them or anyone above them.

I counted my blessings. It was all I really could do at this point and time.

“I can’t get over it,” I said.

“It’s over. You won’t ever see him again.”

I shook my head, wishing everyone could understand. Dominic rinsed off the soap from the sponge in the water.

“I’ll increase your security for the time being.”

I wanted to lash out. Scream. My lip and chin quivered under the weight of the tears threatening to spill. I looked over at Dominic. “You honestly believe that was some fucking random thing?”

Dominic paused. “Believe me,Bellissima, if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t be walking the streets a free man. No one and nothing would’ve gone untouched until I found answers, but sometimes, it’s just a case of the wrong place, wrong time. Today was nothing but an unfortunate coincidence.”

I shook my head again, staring at my hands on my lap underwater. “Nope. I don’t believe that.”

Dominic rinsed the body wash off my back. “I don’t tend to believe in coincidences either, but sometimes, that’s how the dominoes fall.” He wrung more water down my back, slower this time, sliding his hand down and gently massaging me with the sponge. “What matters is that everyone walked out unhurt and alive.” He brought his other hand past my hip to rest on my belly, pausing at my belly button. His eyes told of the fear he felt at the news. His eyes held the same fear when we locked eyes in the driveway. The first thing he did was rush me into his arms, his protective hand on my belly.

I leaned back in the tub, resting my head on the tub’s plush headrest, closing my eyes and cradling my belly, my right hand on Dominic’s. His words wrenched my heart. I swallowed back fresh tears.

“When Sonny called me, he couldn’t drive fast enough. I wanted you immediately in my arms. I wanted the feeling of our son kicking in your belly.” He drew in a deep breath. “Trust me, Lilith, I looked for ways it couldn’t be a damn coincidence. I wanted the excuse to slaughter anyone and everything in my fucking path, but that just wasn’t the fucking case.”

Sensing Dominic leaning in closer, I opened my eyes, watching as he tossed the sponge in the water. He cupped my cheeks, now face to face, the look in his eyes making me go teary-eyed again. His entire world must’ve shattered with that phone call. I knew mine would’ve. Every sense of security and normalcy was torn from under him.

“It reminded me how much I fucking love you. How much I fuckingneedyou and how much I can’t fucking live without you.” He pressed his lips to mine in a long, possessive kiss. He distanced an inch, catching his breath. “How vital you are to my entire fucking existence.” I closed my eyes again at the sensation of his kiss to my forehead. His next words sang against my skin. “You and our unborn are my everything. I love you, Lilith. I love our little family.”

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The hintof a breeze on the chilly night made the air that much colder, and it was so fucking refreshing. When I experienced hot flashes—they liked to strike at night—opening our window or turning on my trusty box fan brought me relief. Tonight, however… Restlessness and my active son were what sent me out of bed and outside. In a pair of cotton boy shorts, my sleep-bra, and my black satin kimono, I leaned forward against the guard rail of the balcony, looking out at our backyard and the homes of our staff.

Sighing, I looked up at the scarce stars, wishing Nadia was here to talk to. My chest tightened, my grief over her threatening to put me in a chokehold the longer I mourned the safety I used to feel wrapped in her arms. The way she took me out of my head and grounded me, her gentle, motherly humming ringing loud in my subconscious. With the familiar sting pricking my eyes, her melodic humming morphed into the sound of the bell above the door dinging when Wyatt entered the thrift shop. For a moment, it wasn’t the winter air bringing me a chill. It was the ice in my blood.

I looked away from the stars and focused on the grass below, inhaling and exhaling.Breathe. Just… Keep breathing.

While my guilt subsided, the all-too-familiar dread twisted my insides. I wanted it to be hormones or stress triggering this particular feeling. I was never that lucky. Dread didn’t find me often, but when it did, it always meant misery—in some fashion—was around the corner. I just never knew what or when.

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