Page 15 of A Seed Of Peril

“Did you pick a movie?” Dominic asked his niece. She nodded, holding in the air what she chose:The Little Mermaid. I’d long ago lost count of how many times she’d seen the film. She loved Ariel’s red hair, even telling me Ariel’s red hair was pretty like mine. That warmed my heart.

“The Little Mermaid!” she announced excitedly.

“Go ahead and give it to Anthony so he can put it on,” Dominic instructed.

While Anthony put the movie in the DVD player mounted on the wall directly underneath the seventy-inch-wide screen television, Katrina came over to me, Mr. Cat in her arms. She snuggled with me beneath the blanket. I fixed a few strands of her hair, smiling, proud of her for her strength and resilience after all she had been through. We were all proud of her.

“Bring the food over here,” Dominic requested of someone. I watched Dino pass Angelo the food. My eyes wandered, first over to Anthony navigating the menu screen of the movie, and then to Thomas’s urn.

His absence was like a knife to my heart, twisting itself left and right over and over. Thomas should’ve been here with us. So should’ve everyone on that mantelpiece. It wasn’t fucking fair. A part of me selfishly hoped Dominic would never replace his role as consigliere. It was too sacred. Sipping on the animal blood, I swallowed my tears, successfully fighting them off.

“Lilith?” Dominic gently called my name, bringing me into the present. When I looked at him, my plate of leftovers was in his hand. He mouthed, “Are you okay?” I nodded as he handed me my plate.

“Just thinking too much.” It wasn’t a lie, but here with everyone, especially Katrina, wasn’t the appropriate place to talk about me mourning Thomas.

Katrina tapped my shoulder. “Can I have a bite, Lulu?”

Nodding, I stuck some of my mango-marinated chicken on my fork and gave her a bite.

“Mmm!” she sounded, a fan of the taste. She devoured it at dinner like we all did. I smiled, feeding her another bite, then ate a bite of my own.

The baby kicked, enjoying it, too.

“We ready?” Dino asked us. After answering him, he turned off the lights and plopped back down on the floor, stuffing his face with potato chips. Katrina giggled at her uncle’s insatiable appetite.

Sharing a bite of my side of mashed potatoes with Katrina, she snuggled under my arm, curling up against me.

“I love you, Auntie Lulu,” she whispered. “You’re the best.”

I looked down at her, kissing her head before smiling at her hushed giggle. “I love you, too, honey, andyou’rethe best.”

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Our stubborn bundleof joy didn’t want to cooperate for Nurse Barton. As she moved the handheld probe around on my belly, the baby moved in the opposite direction. It was a funny game of keep-away.

The baby had become more active lately, their kicks strengthening. Each wriggle and movement was a lot more noticeable. Sometimes, I wondered if the baby was even performing somersaults in there, or as I called it, roly-polies.

“Stubborn,” I said, turning my head to look at Dominic. “Just like their father.”

He arched his brow, giving me a playful look. I laughed, winking. Julie laughed a little, her focus staying on the ultrasound screen.

Julie fiddled around further with the buttons on the machine, taking measurements, capturing some frames for us in between so we could have pictures. I requested at least one picture at every ultrasound. She hadn’t talked much aside from walking us through what she was doing, and I took that as good news. The baby’s weight was always in the back of my mind, however.Would I be strong enough to endure childbirth?

“Would you like to listen to the heartbeat?”

Without hesitation, I nodded. Our baby’s heart was one of my most favorite sounds. And Dominic’s reaction to it always warmed my heart. I held out my hand, and he grabbed it in both of his, smiling alongside me. Our baby’s heartbeat sounded stronger with each scan. More robust. Julie turned the ultrasound screen toward us, allowing us to see our baby’s heart beating. It was incredible.

“Would you like to know what you’re having?”

I looked at Dominic again. He looked at me, his eyes inviting. Soft. He nodded once, and I nodded in return, smiling. Staring at him, I made my decision.

“We do.”

The seconds of silence felt like minutes.

“It’s a boy.”

Dominic’s eyes widened, his smile growing. “A son,” he said to himself. He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my hand.

---