Page 76 of A Seed Of Peril

Vincenzo moved around, becoming restless. I brought my left hand to my belly, palming it, my other hand still clasped in Dominic’s. He wrinkled his brows.

“Is everything alright?” He broke his gaze and looked down toward my belly. He rested his palm on it, and Vincenzo settled.

“Everything is perfect,” I thought out loud, my heart full of happiness.

Lately, our son was gravitating more toward his father’s voice and touch. Their bond was one I was eager to witness.

Dominic looked back into my eyes, keeping his hand on my belly, kissing me.

“I’ll move whatever mountains I have to so you and our unborn are safe.”

“I know.” I smiled.

“I’ll use every resource I have.” He kissed me again. “Pull out every stop I have to.”

Nodding, I repeated, “I know.”

“I don’t want a scare like this to ever happen again.” He touched his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. “Ever.” His voice shook with the word, coming out at just above a whisper.

I touched his bicep, rubbing it up and down, closing my eyes. I slid my hand up past his shoulder until I found his neck, holding its nape. I matched my breathing with his, refusing to release him until he let go of the anxiety and heartache creeping back into him.

“Your pain,” he said, pausing like he was collecting his thoughts, but he couldn’t. I opened my eyes, seeing fresh tears coating his. A single tear fell past his cheek.

Like he had told me numerous times, my pain was his pain. Well, it went both ways. Him fighting to hold himself together twisted my heart. It weighed on my chest. Wanting to get his mind off tonight’s emergency, I suggested an idea.

“Can you help me with a bath after Amy gets done?”

He nodded. A few more teardrops rolled down his cheeks. I kissed his forehead.

I breathed sympathetically. “I know, Dominic… I know.”

Monday, April 24, 2017

Chopin soundedthrough the hardwired bathroom speakers—my personal request. It helped me think while I relaxed in the warm bath water, wringing my foam body sponge, the crescendos failing to erase my fears and anxieties.

Would I survive? I knew our medical care was the best of the best, but was that enough? Would things go horribly wrong?These uncertainties consuming me were like leeches that wouldn’t let go, mulling in an endless, shuffled loop, teeth latched in deep. I had no one to really lean on—at least, no one who could personally relate. I had to figure out how to weather these thoughts and apprehensions alone, and fuck if I knew where to start.

Leaning back in the tub, I held the sponge close to my chest, bringing my left leg toward me as I lowered my other. I stared at the ceiling—in particular, the lighting. Closing my eyes, I released a weighted breath, my hands resting just above my belly.

I thought of my mother, and my throat tightened. Tears threatened the backs of my eyes while I talked to her, choking back a rush of emotion.

“Why do I have to do this without you, Mom? Huh?” Tears rolled down past my temples. I squeezed more free. “Why the fuck do I have to do this without you?” My words came out more as a raw, throaty whisper, and I lost my hold on myself and cried. In my next breath, I forced the words, “I need you, Mom. I really fucking need you.”

After a few minutes, the bathroom door opened, and I knew it was Dominic before he stepped over the threshold. He gently closed the door and approached the side of the tub that sat toward the center of the room. He tried taking the sponge from my hands, presumably to hold one, but I refused to let go. He then swept his hand up along my forehead, bending down to kiss it. His breath was the warmth I needed.

“What’s wrong?”

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I gasped with my next breath, fighting for that self-control once more, my eyes opening.

“I can’t do this. I… I can’t.” I closed my eyes again, releasing more tears, my next words strained. “My mom…” I let go of the sponge and brought my hands to my face, covering my eyes, shaking under the weight of my sobs. I heard Dominic lower to my level, touching my arm.

“Nothing is going to happen to you or our unborn.” He brought his hand to my belly, staring. “You need to understand and trust that what I have put in place for you for this pregnancy will prove that.” Flattening his palm just under my belly button, he looked at me as he said, “You need to remember what you’re capable of.”

Fresh tears pricked the backs of my eyes. My next breath was strangled. His bare arm brushed against me as he reached into the water to grab the sponge. Still holding my hand, I lowered my leg back into the water at the same time he gingerly brought the sponge to my chest and wrung it, comforting warmth running down.

“Reignite your inner fire,Bellissima.” He dunked the sponge in the water and repeated the process, trailing the sponge up and down the length of my belly, submerging it and then retracing it, wringing the water at the center. The bath water cascaded over my belly, the sensation soothing.

Our hands still in one another’s, Dominic leaned over me, his mouth flirting with mine as he brought his right hand to the side of my face, capturing it in his palm. A feathery kiss stroked over my lips and then another before wetting my lips with his one more time.

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