Page 5 of A Touch of Cowboy

“Nothing much to tell. Darla got pregnant, and we were over the moon.” Will fought the pain threatening to break free. “And everything was going okay until it wasn’t. I was on a cattle run, and when I got home, I found Darla feverish and delirious. I called an ambulance and managed to figure out she’d been cramping. She didn’t want to lose the baby and was convinced the doctor would take the baby away from her. All kinds of weird rantings.” Again, he rubbed his forehead. “By the time she got to a doctor, she was septic. If I’d just gotten her there earlier… We lost the baby, and then, a few hours later, I lost her. Just…gone.”

“You must’ve been devastated.”

Will gently nudged Rex to a cushion and popped off the sofa and paced. “Yeah. Mad, too, you know. Mad I wasn’t there. Mad Darla didn’t get help. Mad the universe didn’t want me to be a father…”

“That’s a lot of grief.”

“Right? And on top of losing my parents so tragically in that car crash… I just felt cursed. So I decided right then and there that I was never going to fall in love again.”

Justin tilted his head. “I won’t argue. But I’ll say that love has a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it.”

“Oh, trust me, on the range I can see for miles. I know everything that’s coming.”

“Fair enough.”

He doesn’t believe me.“Well, I kept going. Kinda zombie-like. Just getting through each day and putting one foot in front of the other. I moved out of the cabin and into the bunkhouse. The cabin was meant for a couple and eventually a family. That wasn’t me.”

“Must’ve been rough to stay on the ranch.”

Maybe he does get it. “Times were tough those years, and getting a job was even tougher. I had a safe place and an employer who understood my grief—he’d lost his niece, after all. He let me wallow. Didn’t push me totalk about it.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here now.”

He rolled his eyes, then gingerly dropped back to the couch. “There’s a reason.”

Rex resettled on Will’s lap, completely unperturbed.

“Your sister, you said.”

“Yep. Damn interfering woman.” Will sighed. “MaryAnn lives in Mission City. She’s pestered me for the past five years to come and visit.”

“So you did.”

“Yep.” He winced. “And I’m not a city boy. Never was—even though I was raised in one. Anyway, I went for a walk and was on the bridge.”

“The Mission-Abby bridge?”

“That’s the one. I wanted to see the Fraser River. Commune with nature a little. Noisy traffic, but I could block that out. River was gentle.”

“Tends to be, this time of year. Wait until the spring comes and the snowmelt happens upriver. The river will rise several feet and, depending how rapidly the snow melts, the current can strengthen.”

Will nodded. “Well, I’m not going to be here in the spring, so I’ll take your word for it.”

Justin straightened abruptly.

“Oh Jesus. Not you too.” Will scowled. “I only meant I’d be back in Alberta. Sheesh. Everyone thinks I’m suicidal.”

The counsellor only relaxed a fraction.

“I was on the bridge, looking over, and…I tripped.”

“Tripped?”

“Yeah, my boot caught on a rock or something, and I righted myself. Next thing I know, RCMP officers are there, hauling me into a squad car.For my protection. They took me to the hospital in Abbotsford and everything. No one would listen to me. The psychiatrist called MaryAnn, and…” Huffing a frustrated sigh, he rubbed his forehead. “She agreed towatch over meif I agreed to come for counselling.”

“Tripped, you say.”

“Seriously, man.” He met the deep-blue eyes of the counsellor. “I wasn’t suicidal. Yes, that day was the five-year anniversary of Darla’s death. Yes, I was mourning her and our baby boy. But I’d never kill myself. I’d never risk bringing that kind of grief to Darla’s uncle or to my sister and her family.”